Shrek is love, Shrek is life

Somewhere in the far, far outskirts of Looney Toon land, Bugs Bunny is taking his evening walk out in the moonlit meadow. He comes upon a fork in the road that trailed off two directions. He decided to continue off the main road which led him to the murkiest part of the swamp where the creatures of the night lurk around waiting for their next victim. Bugs asserts to himself as he keeps walking, “I think I’m in the wrong part of the swamp, doc.” As he keeps walking, he stumbles and staggers on a divot in the road. Bugs plummets into a puddle of green goop and turns quick to evasive maneuvers by changing into his final form, the big chungus. He quickly gets out, but the goop was still present turning his skin into a pale green color. Looking like he came from a kids award show, Bugs spots a wooden hut nearby, it had a large tree stump sprouting out on top that was completely covered in patches of grass and surrounded by trenches of mud. Bugs scurries inside to see if he can clean himself up. When he went inside, the room looked liked it had functioned as a kitchen and a dining room, it was filled with wooden furnishings made from branches and timber, the room was filled with a very nauseous scent of what seemed like onions and candles. Bugs hears a loud thump coming from the other room, the noise starts trudging towards him and it continues to get louder and louder. Whatever it was he knew he had disturbed its’ solitary existence. Bugs was unaware of the Shrekoning that was about to occur.

Shrek gives out a mighty ogre roar from the other room, “Is that you Fiona!”  Bugs with his most womanly high pitched voice, “Yes Darling!” It sounded convincing and when Shrek scanned him with his mighty ogre eyes he was convinced that it was indeed his wife, Fiona. Fiona and Bugs had the same repugnant skin color and grotesquely rounded figure, but he probably couldn’t differentiate the two with his wee little ogre brain. Bugs knew the only chance of not getting eaten alive was to just play along. “Our anniversary is today and I want to spend the rest of the evening with you”, said Shrek. Bugs comes up with a clever suggestion of preparing some pungent onions to celebrate. “Nah girl, you don’t have to cook, tonight I’m the wolf and this is my swamp!” Shrek roared. Shrek nudges the stylus onto the record player, careless whisper begins to play in the background, the lights in the room grew dim as the night kept going and the scented candles illuminated Shrek’s vile green skin.

Shrek meets bugs face to face and grabs Bugs by the cheeks with his mighty ogre hand and swirls him towards his mighty ogre chest, and with every panting breath they shared, their hearts raced faster and faster, they gazed immensely into each other’s souls. Shrek whispers into his ear “You showed me a feeling that is indescribable. You showed me how to love and there’s nothing I would ever want to change about that.” Bugs cheeks blush and they walked into the bedroom. He had a sensuous feeling that this would be a long evening and knew there would be no escape from the shrekoning that would happen. Shrek is love Shrek is life.