I hadn’t had a drink in nearly ten years, but after staring at Susan cuddling with her husband in a corner, discussing their amazing life with Geoffrey and his wife, I just couldn’t hold back anymore.
I swaggered towards the mini-bar to grab a beer, but eventually ended up even pouring some vodka in the can. As I was looking around me, I began thinking that there must be a reason all of my high school buddies and sweethearts had found what I had never—a happy ending.
Maybe calling it “an ending“ is kind of too harsh, since we are only 43. But it only took one other glance at Sidney to decide that this must be our endings, whether we denied it or not. Sidney had always liked me to some extent, but I never returned the feeling. I don’t know why, it just wasn’t what I wanted at the time.
I gulped another sip, finding out that my can had been depleted by me. I decided to keep the whole bottle with me.
I was walking out of the school gym, looking for a spot, at which I could just sit down and drink. I found it almost immediately. The bleachers had been my spot back then and they seemed good enough now.
I didn’t notice Elane as I was situating myself awkwardly between the upper bleacher and the lower one. I took note of her after she had tapped my shoulder, saying: “How is the old tiger doing these days?”
I looked back, surprised. I had never been scared by Elane before. I guess growing older does that to you.
“I don’t know, I’m getting by,” I said, sighing.
“I still find myself pondering on that night we spent after graduation once in awhile,” she said.
“Don’t remind of that, please.”
She looked somewhat amused and continued, “my old man still nags me about how irresponsible I was taking his car that night. He even thought about not paying for my freshman year college tuition, so he could buy a new one,” she insisted, smirking.
As we were talking, I was gulping down the entire bottle. I didn’t care anymore, I just craved to be free. Free exactly like I was that night, driving with Elaine in my arm, the breeze gusting at our faces. Life was simpler then. Now, I had an 11 year old kid, whom I loved, but still found myself thinking that I would have never had to quit drinking if it weren’t for him. God, I loved drinking.
Elaine seemed to have forgotten that she needed to go back inside and by now I was looking at her with tearing eyes. She hugged me tightly, but I just vomited on her dress. She gave me the most disgusted look I had seen in the last 10 years. She gave me the look my mother had given me when she had kicked me out of the house.
It was fine, I didn’t need anybody. Tonight, I was going to party. Just like Louie and I used to, before life caught up to us.
I entered the gym, grabbed louie and drove off with him.
The rest of the night was a blur. I remember some images, but not much else.
We’re in an amusement park. We’re in a pool with broken bottles at the bottom of a mansion’s wall. Then, we’re  just sitting on a hill. Louie shouting at the top of his lungs. We had lost our shirts somewhere.
I remember waking up. I remember catching sight of a house. I remember recognizing it as my house. I don’t remember what had happened, but I do remember what would follow.
I entered the front door, seeing that I’m still shirtless. Not minding. I went to the basement, where Rosemary keeps the wine. I took one. I opened it.
I had never gone to my next reunion, instead I had woken up when my kid came home from soccer practice. I was lying on the couch. God, if only I could remember where I left my pants.