The countless sirens, endless screams, along with a stream of curse words and insults...that’s all I had heard this horrendous morning. Another unarmed African American male had been gunned down in the middle of the highway like a dog by a police officer. They say he was reaching for a weapon-which was later discovered to be his cell phone. This very incident reminded me of my son Joshua, whose life was taken a little over three months ago. Although I can sit back and talk freely about the tragedy that occurred,it still is so very hard to talk about it at times,especially because Joshua’s case was never brought to justice and also because I witnessed my own son’s murder.

“OK son, I’m not sure what they’re pulling you over for, but remember all the guidelines we went over. Hands on the steering wheel at all times unless they ask otherwise, try to be as polite as you can...you know, the basics.” “Yeah ma, I know, chill.” Gosh I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday...the last conversation me and my beloved son Joshua had. I never thought I would have my own child, my own flesh and blood, snatched away from me at such a young age, yet alone the way it happened. Myself and Joshua’s father always made sure to always teach him how to get out of these situations alive, we never thought he would actually come face to face with one though. Joshua and I had just returned  from his girlfriend Taylor’s house. Everything was perfectly fine until we heard sirens.

I will never forget Officer Johnson’s face...his attitude...I remember as he walked up to the car,he had a real arrogance about him, like he took his title as part of law enforcement beyond the badge. He strided to the car with a sly grin on his face, he had his walkie talkie in hand, as if he had just knew he had caught something worth calling backup for. He was well known in town for how he viewed things around him, specifically how he viewed racial topics

“Sir, step out of the vehicle”, Officer Johnson said. “Excuse me sir, may I ask why? His lights are on, he’s within the speed limit-” “Routine stop, ma’am, that’s all”, he said with a sarcastic grin. I had the notion to tell him off for interrupting me, but I was too focused on what the outcome of this situation would be. Joshua followed the command of the officer, slowly stepping out of the vehicle. “When did you purchase this car?”, the officer said. “I just got it about two weeks ago, I need it for college.” He slowly peered from my son to the car, as if he were drawing up speculations in his head. It was then that he spoke into his radio, “Yeah, this is Johnson, I’m gonna need some backup. I’m on interstate…” The rest of his sentence was a complete blur. My eyes immediately darted to Joshua, who looked petrified. “Ma, I swear I didn’t do anything wr-” “I know, I know, just-just wait, ok? We have to be patient.”

I noticed Joshua’s facial expressions change, like he was having an internal conversation with himself. The next thing that happened came in slow motion for me. Joshua began to reach into his pocket, “Hey, I can show you proof that it’s my car, I have the insurance card right her-” pow! pow!...pow!-pow!-pow!. I watched my son collapse instantly to the ground, his eyes slowly glazing over, with both a look of hurt and confusion. “ Damn it! I-I thought he was carrying! You know! You know how these black thugs always feel the need to carry a gun!” The countless sirens, endless screams, along with a stream of curse words , that’s all I heard before my whole world turned black.