Imagine going on a car ride late at night hearing the sound of old soothing classical music with the windows down. As you are looking out the window, you feel the breeze coming in the car. You look up at the moon realizing that you don’t know why you feel this way or even know what you are doing. Who are you?
My sister and I picked up my mother from her friend house around 8 o’ clock at night. Since it was nice outside, we rolled down the windows. As we drove down Green Oaks, my eyes began to wonder off into the grassy fields that we passed by that caused my mind to think of everything such as: nature’s beauty, my life, my friends, this world and what has happened the past couple days. It is like my own world has collapse into a nightmare filled with the scariest things that you could ever imagine. Because my life is so different compared to everyone I know, I feel as if I am on my own. I cannot truly say I have a person I can lean on for help because I cannot convince myself I have friends or even a true family. My life is big jumble of chaos that cannot be tamed. I am okay? Is that even okay? As I looked up at the sky to see an answer or even a chance of hope, I began to only see a hopeless night sky that represents how many teenage people feel that made me disconnect with the world around me.
As I shut my eyes, I could the feel the cooling breeze around me which ended up being the only sound I could hear as I became one with the night sky. I had begun to feel the tears fighting to get out that I have been holding back. The tears that have been within for a year, trying to escape my broken heart. Beginning to get lost in my mind with thoughts, I began to think of what my life has to give and hold, which made me asked to myself,  “Am I happy or am I going with the motion?”
I am losing control of who I am as if I am fighting the truth of who I am. Why? I try and try every day to strive for the best, yet I bring myself down due to the lack of purpose I give. Am I okay? Sometimes there can be days where I just cannot take it anymore because I am just tired. I am tired of trying to impress the people who do not even give a thought about me, yet I still end up trying for some unreason. That is where I am lost. Why do I keep going? I am guessing there is hope after all, yet if I ever ask myself “who I am”, I have no thought in mind, which scares me not knowing anything about my own self. I convince myself that I am okay and that I am overreacting, but is this all a part of life or is this just the path I ended up choosing due to my decisions I have made.
I have asked for help, yet it still does nothing. Is this a battle between myself and I? 
All I want to know is if I am okay.