I was jumped into the gang during the day of my Quinceanera, this was the day I turned Fifteen, I was a real woman now and it was time for me to become one. My mom was drugged out as usual and my lesbian aunt was dealing, so there wasn’t no party, s*** not even a happy birthday but instead something better, I had my real family, my sisters. We call our gang the loca putias or crazies; we are the toughest female gang in Queens, s*** all of New York in fact! It is funny because, with female crime progressing currently it only makes sense to run the streets. During my gang initiation the members had me meet at the St. Peter Bridge at 12:00am (the beginning of my birthday) they texted me saying, “Bring yourself, nothing else xoxo”, so I did. Once I got to the bridge the five members were there waiting. The loca putias consist of Camila also known as Knuckles, she’s the one who started this gang. In a sense, I look up to her. Our lives are somewhat similar when it comes to the drugged out mom and the rising yourself part. She is very well kept though, which I can respect, she always dresses nice even though she lives in s*** and brushes her hair even though it is falling out from so much stress. There is also Esperanza and Esmerelda, they are identical twins who act very different, they go by Muscles and Mi, Esperanza is a butch Lesbian who has short hair almost shorter than most guys, she dresses very studish but shockingly can pull it off. At the same time Muscles has very girly features that she just can’t hide; her face is naturally smooth no blemishes or scars, and long eye lashes girls pray to have.

Then there’s her sister Mi, even though they are identical twins Mi is very different from her sister. Mi always seems to make everything about herself, as well as wear tons of makeup, which makes her go from pretty, to trash. There is also Sofia, aka Classic, she is your stereotypical 80’s chola with the outlined lips and drawn on eyebrows. Sometimes I wonder if she shaves her regular eyebrows just to draw some on. Classic is also 4’11, a hot head, and chubby its funny because she use to be really skinny but after her five year break up and the death of her brother Juan, who was shot in the head by his girlfriend, she began to gain weight drastically from Menudo, tacos, and anything that was food. Lastly, there is Maddie, which goes by Snow. Snow is dating Knuckles cousin and swear she is with the s*** so Knuckles decided to jump her into the sisterhood last month, mostly for insurance that Snow won’t f*** over her cousin. Snow is the typical white trash ghetto girl everyone in counters in their life. Snow is from a trailer park on the outside of town and lives with her crazy mom. Once Snow met Rico it was instant connection. I never got what Rico sees in Snow, he is smart and got a full ride to Georgetown next semester, while on the other hand Snow didn’t even complete freshman year but love is love, so I stay silent.

“You ready?” says Classic, I take a deep breath and look at my cold exhale as it rises in the sky. Typically, if I knew I was going to get jump I would have ran my ass off, but these girls are my family, in fact my only family, so I trust them. Taking another deep breath, I chuckle and say “duh” with a wink. I came to figure out that “b****" is a universal word for “friend”. It is funny because for the longest time my dumb ass was wondering why these girls keep calling me crazy but after a while I became accustomed to it and now say it myself. “Alright girl you ready?” says Knuckles as she begins to crack her manly fists. A person would think this girl lifts cinderblocks for a living her hands are rough and very dry like most men, it is scary. “Alright sisters” yells Knuckles, we are here today to initiate Maria Ramos Garcia-Mendez, into the boldest sisterhood New York as ever seen!” “Sisters hold up your weapon of choice.” At this time, I began to feel scared, seeing that the twins are holding up chains, and that Snow and Classic are holding up their fists, which consist of thick brass knuckles, which looks like it is made for a tuba than a hand. And lastly knuckles who just has her fists. “Okay girls here’s how it goes you will each get one hit anywhere of your choosing, Maria you cannot move or block, got it?” “Yes.” I say in a shaky voice at this time I know I am scared but I keep in mind that I am okay.

In an instant, I have my hands held behind my back by one of the cold chains one of the twins had brought; at the same time, I have the other chocking me. One by one each sister came up and gave me their best hit in the face, for the most part it wasn’t that bad, Classic technically missed my face having to jump, she ended up punching my ear. Snow was next, “Are you ready for this commitment?” she grinned. Her eyes were bright green up close behind tons of her eye makeup, at the same time hand her teeth were crooked and stained as if she has not brushed in several days. Yellow plaque and pieces of food were in the crevices of her teeth, which made my stomach turn. Snow cocks her arm back and releases a deathly blow to my nose, *crack* and *crunch* is the last thing I felt on my nose before I blacked out. For the next two or three minutes I remember inhaling pieces of the cement that smells like the ruined concrete, gas, and amusement parks. After my beating which felt like forever, Muscles helps me up on my feet. Face hot with blood splurging out of my wounds, I manage to pull aside a happy grin. “Congratulations Maria, welcome to loca putas. Your new blood name is Vida, Congrats,” says Knuckles.

2:30
I get on the subway to go home. Subways this early in the morning aren’t packed but instead eerie, there is always the occasional couple making out and the drunk homeless man asleep in the seat. Aside from the New York traffic it’s the most peaceful time of the day. Once on the subway I take a seat on the stern cold bench that is tagged in Sharpe and pen under the illuminated light that shines brighter than the rest of the train, which means it was recently replaced. There I finally take a deep breath and exhale painfully. I smile through the pain because I am happy, I found my place in the world, and that is Loca Putas, they are my family and I am theirs. I didn’t know what life was before my sisters but I do now, my name is Vida, and I am life.
                                                     
5:30 am
I wake up early to a loud noise coming from the living room, loud noises were typical in my small apartment, junkies were constantly here either trying to buy from my aunt who deals, or friends of my mother who are constantly trying to steal my s*** for money. “ALRIGHT THEN I’LL SHOOT YOUR ASS.” Screamed a male voice, at that moment I ran into the living room thinking who is about to die and why. I run to the living room to see a tall dark man with a leather jacket and tarnished gold chain hanging from his neck. “Give me motherfucking money hoe,” demands the man, at this point I am scared for my currently high mother who has her hand waving in the air begging not to shoot. “Marcus, Marcus, let me deal with you maaan, you know I am good for my word, come on you are trippin” says my mom. “Look spare me, and you can have …Maria, she’s good I promise, you can do whatever with her, she’s still young, you can teach her the system, but please don’t kill me,” at this point I am shocked, my mom is about to trade me, her only daughter, her flesh and blood for some crack money she owes. “..alright” sighs Marcus, “deal”. Now I am more flabbergasted than scared, I cannot believe this is happening to me, especially on my birthday. “Maria honey,” my mom says dramatically as she whips her greasy hair from her forehead, which now is dripping with cold sweat, “Honey you have to be good girl now okay, Marcus is a good guy who will take care of you, don’t be crazy, and do this for mama okay?”

Now even more mad that I can be looked at as a b**** if I decided not to live with a complete stranger who is now looking at me in a creepy way, I scream “No!” and run. I run straight for the door and down the stairs, anywhere but here is better, I know I have to get to my sisters, they will protect me. As I continue to run I hear mumbled yelling and finally a bang from the gun! I scream but continue to run, I know that banged meant one thing at that’s the death of my mom, he shot her, that bastard shot her. Finally, I get to an old local diner and call Classic. “Classic!” I weep, “Come get me?” 

6:45
I am almost passed out on the hard tabled in the diner when suddenly I hear the door bust open, I look up to only see the top of someone’s head, they are really short and from that I know it is classic. “I am over here” I shout. Jogging over I see that Classic is very concerned but at the same time very tired so I spare the long story and just tell her I got in an argument with my mom and she kicked me out. “Just come crash at my place and we can talk about it in the morning.” Yawns Classic.

Once to classics house I cannot help but to notice all the saint candles she has in her room and the many posters of people, mostly Channing Tatum and Adam Rodriguez, I do not blame her though after watching Magic Mike with my friend Kamesha from school I know who my future husbands were. “Girl get some rest, you’re all tired and loca right now holmes, its making me nervous” Classic says. She is right though, I noticed that I have yet to take off my shoes to hop in her bed, which is made up of Selena Quintanilla sheets and 2Pac pillows. Damn this girl is really old school, she lives up to her name. Finally, I lay in her bed and shut my eyes. I sense myself going into denial thinking about how my mom is now dead, I refuse to even think about it because I first I’m tired, and second I don’t want to seem weak in front of my sisters, not yet at least.

11:20
“Vida, WAKE THE F*** UP WE GOTTA GO NOW FOOL, LIKE NOW” screams Classic, I don’t even hesitate to comply with her I just get my shoes on and run with her to her car. Once in the car I am receiving an ear full of information which is hard to process because I am still half asleep. “Helllooo, earth to Vida” demands classic, “I said we are going to the dock, this only gang wants to fight us, so we going to show them what’s up, we are meeting the crew there, be ready and don’t embarrass our clique.” Says classic. She hands me a switch blade from her dash board and says “use this if you’re about to die.” The switch blade, like everything else of classics, is old. With a smooth wooden body, the blade its self is dull and rusted which means it hasn’t been taken care of. it reminds me of an old mobster knife, I remember reading in school an article over women in transitional organized crime, it was an interesting article because it showed how mob wives were always behind their husband’s crime. Maybe Classic knew how old this knife is, and the history it might carry.

12:00
We arrive to the sight and see the girls waiting, Muscles and Mi are having a side conversation by the car, and I can tell Muscles is mad and yelling about her ex-girlfriend who is in the other gang. Meanwhile Knuckles and Snow rush us with ways to get the girls, Knuckles, now has little to no hair left, I imagine it is from the stress she is going through. I feel bad for her because she wears a beanie which reminds me of a cancer patient who has recently lost their hair. At the same time, she looks surprisingly pumped for the brawl, as if she has been anticipating the day she can finally beat the hell out of someone. Snow on the other hand looks very scared, she told me that she was the one who started this mess, saying that she messaged a girl named Lia on Facebook treating to beat her ass because she thought Lia and Rico were sleeping together. Like always Snow was wrong and ironically Lia is in the gang we are about to fight. Since we are sisters now it is our duty to fight with her, even if it is not our problem.

12:30
I look to the sunny horizon to see five girls walking towards us, the girls are presumably big, each looks to be about 6’0 and 230lbs, each of the girls wear their gang color Green and purple, compared to them our gang looks like a bunch of small amateurs. The closer the enemy’s get the more I began to feel nauseous, each of the girls are carrying some kind of deadly weapon, form bats to hatchets, one girl simply brought a gun, highlighted in purple glitter. Meanwhile our weapons consist of chains, hammers, and fist. “Okay ladies” whispers muscles, “When they cross that stop sign run towards them give it all your strength, shows this gang who we are!” Before I knew it we all take off, except Snow who stands there frozen in fear, “Snow!” I yell “Come on!”, but she doesn’t instead she runs to classics car and drives away in the opposite direction.

Once up close to the women I can tell we are much shorter. Classic takes the first punch at the girl with the bat, of course, she misses and is hit with the weapon across the head, I hear crackling from her skull, as she flew two feet tumbling to the ground. Knuckles and Mi are tag teaming the girl with the hatchet, at the same time Muscles is being jumped by two other girls; I sprint to go help Muscles when suddenly I get pulled to the ground by my hair. I look up to see a bigger woman standing over me with a gun; I get up and face her head on. Her face is tatted two teardrops indicating that she has killed two people. She wears bright red lipstick, purple blush; across her forehead is a tattoo that says Big Bertha. I assume that is her name, but I have no time to make educated guesses. I look down to see she is carrying the gun; at this moment, I know this gang life isn’t for me. I pull out the dull knife and take a stab straight in her stomach! I began to run full speed towards a gas station a block away! I make sure not to look back, it will only slow me down! Suddenly I hear a loud bang and feel a sharp pain shoot through the center of my back, I fall face forward and began to weez. “I am shot!” I scream but no one comes. I turn over gasping for air, at this point it is becoming hard to breath, I look up to the blue sunny sky and began to burst out in cries! I don’t cry because of the pain but instead because I know I am dying, slowly I began to cough up blood, it fills my mouth quickly and before I knew it I began to choke. Visions becoming blurred, sounds becoming mute, I turn to the side to see a billboard that says stop female crime. At this point, I am gasping for air, I continue to cough up pools of blood and start to feel tired, Finally, I look into the gas station to see a mom and her daughter looking scared at the scene outside, the scene I am a part of. On the girls’ shirt, it says “birthday girl”, it reminds me that today was my birthday, but I totally forgot. “Happy birthday Maria” I weakly say to myself, “Happy… bir--.”

FIN