“Come on, Cass, have a little fun,” Hannah said, “Have a drink!” She shoved a mug of beer into my face, the mischief sparkling in her eyes. I knew I was old enough to drink, but I was the designated driver; I can’t risk getting into an accident. Hannah’s mouth spread into a sly grin as her eyes prompted me to take a swig.
“No, Hannah,” I told her, “I can’t”. Hannah’s grin then turned into a frown as she set the extra mug down, still full of its contents. “We should probably go home,” I said, “it’s really late.”
Hannah slightly wobbled on her way out of the bar, almost slipping on the ice. We hopped into my Geo Metro, the ruby red finish frosted with snow.
“This January weather is unnecessary,” I said while I cranked up the heat, “Mother Nature, can you not?”
“Yeah, you said it.” Hannah said, slightly hiccupping. I knew the alcohol was getting to her head; we had to get home soon.
The highway was mostly deserted-except for the occasional semi. The sky was black, and my headlights illuminated the snow patches on the sides of the road.
“Hey, Cass?” said Hannah.
“Yeah?”
“I really wanna kiss your brother…”she said out of her drunkenness, “He’s really hot…” I giggled under my breath-she didn’t even know my brother.
“We’re almost home, Hannah. Just go to sleep.” That way, she can’t cause any trouble. Another semi drove by, the headlights temporarily blinding me. I slightly drifted off of the road. Once my eyes adjusted, I put the car back onto the road.
I could see the city lights when all of a sudden, Hannah’s hand grabbed the wheel and turned it hard to the left. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Out of nowhere, a giant truck T-boned us and sent us flying. We landed on the roof of the car, and eventually rolled to the wheels. The last thing I saw was a dark figure’s silhouette against the bright lights of the truck, approaching fast...

I awoke to find a bright room that smelled slightly of...cleaning supplies? Machines were whirring and beeping with a continuous beep, beep...beep, beep...I sat up onto my elbows to take a better look. I was in a hospital bed. All of a sudden, my head felt like it was going to burst open. Instinctively, I yelled and grabbed my head in pain.
A nurse came running in, her face looking frantic.
“Honey, are you okay?” she asked.
“My head,” I answered, “it feels like I got hit by a truck…” We both sat there in silence as the realization dawned on me-I was in a wreck!
I looked outside; it was...green? Last I checked, it was January and the ground was covered in snow. Now, the grass was bright green and the trees had leaves.
“What happened?”
“You were in a wreck. The man who ran into you called us and we transported you here,” and upon seeing my confusion after looking outside, she said, “You’ve been in a coma for about 5 months; it’s May.”
I cradled my head in my hands as I computed what she had just told me.
“H-Hannah,” I stammered, “What about Hannah? Is she okay?” I absent-mindedly chewed on my fingernail, the anxiety for the answer making my heart a drum.
Ba-dum...Ba-dum...Ba-dum…
“Dear, I’m sorry to tell you this, but…” she hesitated. The next few seconds felt like years as the drum of my heart beat faster and faster. The throbbing of my head did not cease as we stared directly at each other; the pain so excruciating that my eyes started glistening with hot tears. My heart was pounding so loudly that the room at the end of the hallway could probably hear it; the drumming...deafening. The seconds seemed to be growing longer with each tick. “She, well...she didn’t make it.”
Just then, the grief ran down my face in a fierce, violent flow. The emotions were overwhelming; mixtures of sadness, fear, anger, and guilt surged through my veins like poison. I kept thinking: I killed my best friend...I killed my best friend...
Suddenly, flashes of that night struck me like lightning as I saw the blinding lights of the truck as it headed for us…..the impact….the rolling...the lights...I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and onto my arms as I rolled into a fetal position on the bed.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of a horrendous downpour, I was able to go home. Because of the condition I was in, as well as my car’s, I wasn’t allowed to drive. Instead, the hospital called my brother, Corey-my only living relative-to come pick me up.

I must’ve fallen asleep in the car, because when I opened my eyes the next morning, I was in my room, swaddled by my comforter.However, I hadn’t gotten much sleep; flashes from that night scattered throughout my dreams. I rubbed my eyes and looked at my vanity mirror: I had bags under my eyes; it definitely showed that I didn’t get a lot of sleep.
I looked around. Next to me was a box of chocolate and a note that said, “I’m sorry, Cass. I know how much Hannah meant to you. It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done. For now, eat some chocolate; you’ll feel better. Love, Corey”
Corey has always been there for me. Even after Mom and Dad died, he would take me in his arms and let me cry. Now was a time where I appreciated how much he cares about me.
“Thank you, Corey.” I whispered as I opened the chocolate box.
Once I got to the 5th piece of chocolate, a wave of guilt rushed over me, devouring me so that I could no longer eat. I placed the unfinished chocolate back in the box as I laid back down and covered myself in blame. I could have done something, I thought, I could have done something, but I didn’t. And because I didn’t, Hannah is dead. The negative thoughts ran through my head in a seemingly endless circle, only to be stopped by a faint knock on my door.
“Cassie, you okay?” Corey said as he sat down at the foot of my bed. I shook my head and melted into his arms, the tears streaming down my hot face.
“The crash,” I said, weeping in his arms, “I can’t stop seeing it...the impact, the lights…” He continued to hold me as I broke down in pain, my head throbbing from the crash, amplified by my dreams and the crying. “Make it stop...please…”

I still remember that night, sometimes it even haunts my dreams. I have anxiety attacks and I often don’t get a lot of sleep. After a month or so, the doctors diagnosed me with PTSD. However, I have decided to move forward in my life and not let my anxiety control me. Now that some has passed since that night, I realize that there was really nothing I could do. As much as I loved her, I accept the fact that the crash was her fault. I will never forget my best friend, Hannah.