My name Leanna Doughty, and I've been fighting cancer for almost a year. It hasn't been easy, but my doctors tell my parents my chances of survival are high. So here's a little bit about me. I'm almost 14, my parents were divorced, but are sort of in a truce until I get better, and I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, Max. My family has always been here for me, and they always will be. Dr. Samuel (Who I usually just call Sam) has been like a second father to me through everything. He made a promise that I would get through this, and he has never let me down.

My story starts about 2 months ago, where I first began to realize the truth behind the cure.

(Leanna)

I sat up in my hospital bed, and waited for Sam. I only had about 2 weeks left here before I could go home for a little while. Someone knocked on the door, and I was surprised to see it wasn't Sam, but Max. I smiled.

"What's up?" I asked, wondering if I looked in the slightest bit presentable. Probably not.

He looked at me worriedly. Everyone does. They can't help it. It's sort of like people assume I'm about to drop dead right in front of them, just out of the blue. I sighed and gave him a reassuring smile. He walked over to me, and handed me a small paper flower. I added it to my collection, 487, one for every day I spent here since we had fallen in love.

"What's up?" I asked again, wondering why he was here so early. He fished a small piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. I rolled my eyes at him, he knew there was no way I could decode the medical terms and whatnot.

"It's a form saying that your current treatment isn't working so they're switching you to a different one, it fell out of your mother's purse," Max said cautiously.

He flinched at my expression. My throat felt as dry as sandpaper.

"Really?" I said, barely choking out the words.

He nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but there was a knock at the door and Sam came in. I saw Max quickly slip the paper into his pocket. He gave me a quick kiss and left the room.

"How you doing Lee," Sam asked, smiling.

"Uh..I need to ask you about something" I managed.

"Sure, what is it?" he said, a little more seriously.

"Max told me," I said in a small voice, "about the, the new"

I stopped. I felt like my throat was closing up, and I could tell I was going to burst into tears any second. Sam looked at me confusedly for a moment before understanding dawned on his face. He gave me a comforting smile.

"You don't need to worry about it,Lee." he said, "It's nothing serious, this isn't so uncommon, I promise"

That made me feel tons better, though I was still a little doubtful.

"Are you feeling okay," he asked.

I shrugged. "Okay" was a matter of perspective, and it was completely up to opinion whose perspective it was.

"I guess," I said, "I don't feel different, just bleh"

He nodded and handed me a glass of water and told me he'd be back in about an hour. When he had shut the door, I leaned back and closed my eyes. I took a couple of sips of water, then set the glass down on the table next to my bed. I pressed the down arrow button on my bed controlling remote until I was in sleeping position. My clock read 2:58. The clock changed numbers, I closed my eyes.

I opened them. The clock read 5:08. I yawned and realized Sam would be here any minute. I moved the bed into sitting position and waited.

(Sam)

I walked quickly down the brightly lit hallway until I reached room 208, Leanna's room. Its not that I was late or anything, but three years working here have taught me, every second counts.

Leanna blinks as I enter the room. She had clearly just woken up. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Here, nothing is really for sure, but I made her a promise, and I intend to keep it.

(Max)

Sitting in the waiting room for hours every day, really gives you time to think. Dr. Sam, Mr. and Mrs. Doughty, Leanna, they all say this is a battle she will win. They say it like they can see the future, and as doctors, maybe they can in a way. They've see countless children like Leanna, and in the long run, she's just another kid with cancer, nothing special. But right now she is, she's my Lee. I love her more than anything else, but I can still be realistic. I had a sister, Nina. The doctors said she would live too. They were wrong.

(Leanna)

Day and night don't really matter here, you sleep and wake up when you need to. But still I have a clock. I watch the numbers and I know when its actually time to sleep. The end of the day is a blessing, a comfort. The trials of the day melt into oblivion, and you fall into sleep's sweet embrace. The only problem is, the only thing I will remember, is waking up.

*        *        *

Light gently streamed in from behind two lacy curtains. I didn't really need to wake up, but I did anyway. Something felt wrong, weird. I went back to sleep, because it will be gone when I wake up again.

I looked at the clock, 10:53. If I wanted breakfast, I could ask for it. I do, but I'm too tired to pick up the remote. 7 minutes until Sam comes. It seems like my whole life is made of waiting. When I reach one goal, I start waiting for the next one. There's nothing else to do, so I wait.

The first half of  the day always passes in a blur. Tests, scans, this and that and the other. Then Sam comes in and tells me I'm getting better, or staying the same. He has never once said I'm getting worse. I wonder if he's allowed to, and if not, would he tell me anyway?

(Sam)

Good news is easy. No news is frustrating. Bad news is hard. Its never been hard to give news to Leanna. I checked my clipboard and swallowed. Well, there's a first time for everything.

(Leanna)

Sam knocked on the door. I jumped a little, and then told him he could come in. He looked more nervous than I had ever seen him before. He took a deep breath and..his face..

No, no, no, I thought to myself, I know that face, the face Dr. Barry made when he told me I had cancer, the bad news face. I braced myself.

"You're going to need another surgery," he said softly, "and we'll get you started on the new treatment tomorrow, you're going to be here at least another month."

My ears started ringing. I had to be dreaming.

"Wh...Why?" I whispered, "Am I getting worse?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer. Getting worse equaled death in my book. Sam nodded nervously, then attempted to cover up.

"But don't worry Lee, it doesn't really mean anything right now, and," he gave me a knowing look, "you are by no means whatsoever dying."

"Would you tell me if I was?" I asked on impulse.

He looked a little taken aback.

"Of course Lee, I will always tell you the truth, all of it, but I know that it won't come to that, I'm sure."

My heart lifted just a little. I asked if Max could come in and Sam went to go get him.

(Max)

When Sam came out and said Leanna wanted to see me, I don't know what I was expecting. I definitely wasn't expecting this.

"I'm so scared," Leanna sobbed as I held her.

"Shhh" I murmured, "Dr. Samuel said it was going to be okay, I trust him."

The words felt strange and false in my mouth. I never trusted doctors. Not since I lost my little Nina. I blamed it on the doctors. They could have saved her. They said she would be okay. I could feel tears coming, but I held them back for Lee. Now, I found myself trusting Samuel. I trusted him to keep my Lee alive.

"I trust him." I said again, and this time I believed it.

(Sam)

My technical title is Nurse Practitioner. I help out the more specialized doctors treat the patients. I've only had 56 patients. Leanna is my 56th. 32 of them have been adults. Two of the adults passed away. 18 have been children. Four of them have passed away. Six of them I am currently working with. Even though I don't have to, I always develop a sort of friendship with every patient. Even though I only help those who keep her alive, I hope what I'm doing is just as important to her.

(Leanna)

April 17th. The date of the surgery. Tomorrow. Its been a week and a half since I first found out. The new treatment works better I think. I feel worse, but I don't wake up feeling out of touch with reality anymore. So in a way it is better. I am so tired. I cannot see Max till four days after the surgery. Then I will get four paper roses. I am not afraid.

(Max)

April 17th. The date of Leanna's surgery. Tomorrow. She's been on her new treatment for nearly two weeks. She tells us she thinks it is working. I started losing Nina because of "surgical complications." I told this to Dr. Samuel. He said it would be okay. I believe him. I can't see her for four days. She will be okay. I am not afraid.

(Sam)

Leanna's surgery is tomorrow. I told her family she will be okay. I told her she will be okay. I want to be sure. Things are never for sure. It is very likely this will be a success. I love each child. I celebrate with them when things go well. I work harder when they go wrong. I told Leanna the chances of her walking out of here in less than a year and a half were great. I can't be wrong, I won't be wrong. I am not afraid.

(Leanna)

Waking up. Which way is up? Where am I? What's going on? The surgery is tomorrow. No, it was today. I'm so confused. I'm so tired. The room blurs. I close my eyes.

*one week later*

Its been about a month and a half since Max first warned me I was starting a new treatment. The surgery went well. The new treatment is working. I feel yucky. I can go home in 5 days. I don't know if I want to. I am scared. What if something happens? I will be so far away. I will stay in my dads house. It is closer. My mom is staying with us. I will have to go back two weeks later. Having cancer sucks.

I have a calendar. Max gave it to me. He's been so sweet and nervous lately, it's kind of adorable. He's not allowed to sleep over at our house sadly. I wish he could. He'll visit me after school every day he says. I cross off days on my calendar. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. I will go home tomorrow. I can't wait. My mom says she and dad have a present for me. I can't wait to see what it is. Max can't be there when they give it to me. I wonder why. Sometimes I forget they're actually separated. They said one day they might get back together. They've been going somewhere lately Max told me. He won't tell me where. I gave up hoping they would get back together. That's okay I guess. At least I still have them both.

*         *          *

Wow its sunny. It's never been this bright in the morning. The bed seems soft. I shake my head. Wait. Where am I? HOME!!!!!! A tear of joy runs down my face. My mom pokes her head in the open door.

"Watch your IV," she says, on the verge of happy tears.

I get up slowly. This is my room. I remember it. I'm crying harder now. My mom hugs me gently. I can smell cooking. I feel hungry for the first time in a while. I head to the kitchen as fast I am can. My dad is cooking. I glance at my mom's wall calendar. On today's date was LEE'S HOME with big letters and hearts around it. The day before said Counseling Today. It was circled in purple highlighter a lot. I shrugged and started on my food. It was gone in seconds. My dad said no more. I sighed. Then I remembered.

"You guys mentioned a present..." I said, excited. I always got the best gifts. One of the few pros of having cancer I guess.

The two smiled and dad grabbed something from behind him on the counter. He and mom walked over and I stood up. I didn't have my IV in because our nurse was fixing it. I would get it back after they gave me the present.

My dad put his hands at his sides. Wait...if he didn't actually grab something....what was going on? Then they leaned toward each other and.....KISSED!!!!

The room started to swim. I could hear my mom saying that she and dad were getting back together, but she sounded far away. I saw my dad run towards me and everything went black.

*      *       *

Beep. Beep. Beep. I knew that sound. Oh no.. I opened my eyes. Sure enough, I was back in my hospital room, with my parents and Sam hovering over me.

"This really wasn't necessary," I groaned, annoyed.

My dad shrugged. "You can never be too careful" he said quietly.

"Hey," I said, needing to be sure, "Can you guys kiss again?"

(Max)

Leanna's parents have been together for two weeks. I have tried to stay out of their way. They deserve some time alone with Lee. Still, I miss her. I'll just have to wait until things calm down.

*one week later*

Leanna needs another surgery, as soon as possible. No one would tell me why. I can't find Sam.

(Leanna)

I've felt kind of hazy lately. Hopefully the surgery fixes that.

(Sam)

I haven't seen Leanna lately. Or her family. I'm afraid to tell them that her cancer is growing. She will probably live still, but now the chances are near 50/50.

(Leanna)

It hurts!! Everything!! I can't breath. I just have to reach the emergency button. I can do it. One. Two... Three!

(Sam)

I run into Leanna's room. She's trembling with her finger still on the button.

"Leanna," I say loudly, "Leanna!"

She looks like she is choking.

"Help." she whispers before going limp.

The other doctors run into the room. I hurry away to get her family.

(Max)

No. No. NO! They said she would be okay. THEY SAID SHE WOULD BE OKAY!!! Emergency operation. That's what Sam is telling us. He says they're going to save her. I want to run, to leave this place of death, but I stay, for my Lee.

(Leanna)

I open my eyes. Sam, Max, mom, dad. All of them, gathered around my bed. I know why. My mom and dad come closer.

"I love you, I am so sorry, promise me you'll stay together, and take care of Max," my voice is barely a whisper.

They promised, and hugged and kissed me. They want to say more, I want to say everything, but we can all tell I am running out of time. Sam comes forward.

"Not your fault," I manage, "You made everything better."

He nods, trying to hold back tears. He kisses my forehead gently. Max comes forward.

"Not their fault, no one's fault, that's the truth behind the cure, when it doesn't work you keep trying so that one day it will," I manage.

"I understand, I'm going to become an oncologist and I'll never give up until I find the cure, Lee, you have taught me everything I needed to know."

"Goodbye," I whisper, "I love you."

"I love you Leanna Doughty, I always will, you will always be my one true love."

He leans in and kisses me, long and loving. I smile a little, and tears run down his face as he tries to smile back. I feel a cough explode inside my chest, but I can't force it out. The room swirls and fades in and out. My chests aches with lack of breath. I feel like I am floating. I close my eyes, and fall asleep, one last time.