DIFFERENCES

I wake up every morning in a dark empty room, thinking if I should live tomorrow. I look beside without realizing the tears falling with that thoughts,”will she be okay? Will she be in good care?” I gently pat her to wake her up.The moment she opens her eyes, she mumbled “good morning lily”. Whenever I hear her sweet little voice, I feel calm and easy. “Come on, mom is about to come home” I stated before heading to the bathroom. I looked back and felt a pain in my chest when tears were running down her face. She tried wiping the tears but it seems the tears were being held in for too long.

After I changed into my dirty shirt and ripped jeans, I went into the living room and eat about 1 fourth of what normal healthy kid eat. “Crystal do u want more.” I asked realizing how skinny she became. I know it wasn’t normal but we didn’t have enough money to buy her what normal kids eat/have such as cheetos, takis, hamburgers, phone, iPad, books and etc. “No it’s okay, we should leave some for mom, she haven’t eaten anything for almost a week.” She replied making cereal for our mom. It was good that we left it for mom because that was our last plate of cereal with milk. I don’t want to attend school because crystal and Mom are sick and doesn’t have anyone to take care of them.

Mom and crystal would try to act like they are okay but they’re not. Eventually they became professionals at hiding their true feeling and expressions. But I’m smart enough to know that they’re sick by their actions and face expressions. Long before we were poor, I didn’t care if they were sick since we can afford the medicine but now it’s different.

Everyday I would go to the store with a big old jacket. I would curiously look around until anyone is able to see me. I would quickly grab 2 bags of chips and run as if I was finally able to be free again. It’s like an everyday thing. Whenever I run I hear at least one person say “don’t run around in the store! IT’S DANGEROUS!” I’m happy I got the chips today because it’s crystal’s birthday today.

I would go home and get stared at. I was used to it, at least I thought I was until I saw a group of high school kids that I used to have class with. The moment I saw them, I turned the other way and ran as fast as I could. My legs were sore the moment I got home. “Crystal! Are you home?” I yelled. Crystal runs towards laughing and giggling. “Lily! Your back? What will we have today!?” She asked. I won’t blame her if she ask a lot of questions today because it’s her birthday after all. “Soooo we will- hahaha I won’t tell you just yet, it’s a secret!” I giggled. Crystal smile as if she hasn’t in centuries, it was the brightest smile i’ve ever seen.

My heart was filled with happiness and joy. “Aww okay. So today we’re going to eat rice and your favorite! Chicken!” I explained. “Hahahaha!” Crystal laughed. Crystal is easy to read because she would always laugh when she’s nervous and happy but this time she started shaking up. “I’m soo happyy, I’m sorry you guys had to buy these for me.” crystal cried laying her face on my laps. “It’s okay, today is a special day so it was worth it” I replied gently patting her head.

“Lily! Crystal! I’m home.” My Mom yelled. When she came into the house, she had white bags in her hands which surprised me. “Mom let us help you” I suggested “ah you two are as kind and lovable as ever” she confessed giving us the bags. Crystal took one bag and I took the other bags and set it on the table. “Mom. You didn’t have to buy all this” crystal mumbled looking at her feet. “Honey today is a special day so it doesn’t matter” my mom replied walking towards crystal to comfort her.

“Okay! Let’s set everything up” my mom state putting everything on the table. While we were setting everything up, crystal was in the room. “Okay crystal! You can come out now!” We yelled. The moment crystal came out the room, her eyes were filled with tears. She was shaking and struggled to walk. “Mom thank you” she said walking. She was hiding something behind her back. “Lily can you come here?” Crystal asked. “Sure” I replied. I walked towards her and everything changed.

When I was about to hold her up, she cried and screamed “Wahhh I’m sorryy”. I was confused but a minute later, everything changed when crystal pulled out a gun in her hand. It was the gun our dad left before he left us. “I don’t want you to suffer anymore” she explained “you're the one who was suffering but acted all fine” she added. I smiled and looked at the window and saw a pale, bold, and skinny girl. “Promise me. You will take care of Mom and yourself” I command. Crystal nods her head. I took the gun and point it on my head then BOOM everything went dark. “We love you” my mom cried holding me in her arms. “I’ll miss you!” Crystal screamed. “I love you gu-“ I added before I closed my eyes and lost control of my body.