2:00

Death is knocking at the trapdoor above us.

My skin gags at the taste of sweat and grime. Twelve feeble bodies, pressed tightly in the darkness. Such silence hangs in the underground burrow, that even the hum of exhalation is nonexistent. Sleep has only arrived at Bà-N?i’s weak, wrinkled eyes.

Though no one says it, our ears can pick up a sound. Confident, ravenous footsteps overhead.
The footsteps of American soldiers.

I clutch the Battle Knot to my chest.

4:00

Can they smell us? The reek of urine and claustrophobia and human sweat and inhuman beliefs?
Can they hear my heart, like a buffalo caged within my ribs?

Bà-N?i has roused from her bewildered drowse. Gently, she slips her wrinkled palm into mine. She runs her stubby fingers through my hair. Again and again and again.

Something crashes loudly above us. Panic strangles my nerves.

In my head, I hear the lullaby that Papa used to sing:

The sea shall comfort you in her tender arms

The sunshine shall warm all the light of the sky

The stars of the night shall guide you from all harm

And forever I love you, so close your eyes.

6:00

“Did you find any, Sergeant?”

“Seven yonder, in the fields. Nine still in their homes.” He spits and lights a cigarette. “Those filthy communists just won’t give up.”

10:00

They are treading through our groves with their ugly boots. Through our gardens, through our houses, through our shops, through our beaches.

Perhaps if they had tread those very beaches seven years ago, they would have witnessed quite the scene.

***

A boat is waiting at sea. Several families are saying farewells. Four healthy Vietnamese farmers are loading the final supplies for the twelve day long journey to Ho-Chi-Minh City.

“Papa! PAPA! Wait!” A tan, nine year old girl is skidding breathlessly across the beach, to the youngest of the farmers.

“Kim.” Words die in his throat. His smile is like weak tea. As he pulls the girl up into his arms, he stumbles. She is growing taller.

“When will you be back, Papa?” Sand and sweat streak Kim’s face.

His lips quiver. He hates lying. Especially to his daughter.

“Promise me that you’ll look after Mama. And Bà-N?i till I get back.”

“You’ll come back Papa. You will, won’t you?” A hint of panic.

Papa’s heart melts to a puddle.

Finding a small coil of rope near his foot, he ties it into a tight, pretzel shaped knot and presents it to his daughter.

“Ta-da! I call it... the battle knot!” Kim turns it over in her palms, half amused. “As long as it stays tied, you’ll know that I’ll be thinking about you. Always.” His voice wobbles.

“What if the knot comes undone? Does that mean you’ll have forgotten me, Papa?”

“I promise, the knot shall never come loose, ever, ever, ever."

Twenty minutes later the girl’s mother is forced to drag her off the beach so that the boat can leave.

***

Dust may have turned the Battle Knot brittle, but it has never come undone after all those seven years.

20:00

“Have they gone?”

For hours, no footfalls. No more voices in those foreign cadences.

Silence.

“The soldiers. They’ve gone, haven’t they?” No one answers. Perhaps they’re too fearful. Or perhaps we have all died.

We sit. We wait.

Then someone’s hands slowly pushes a panel of stone in the roof. Heavenly white radiance floods the hideout.

21:00

We crawl out cautiously. But as I make it outside, I realize that we have escaped. There is not a soul in sight.
And as I head toward the hut, sleep dragging at my eyelids, I hear a noise.

And that’s when the sky splits and fat-bellied planes appear from the sky. One, two, three, four, five. They hum lazily and spin in dizzy circles.

Pepper falls like snowflakes from the wings.

Bombs.

I don’t even have time to scream as the first one hits the ground.

***

Rubble.

Thick, suffocating dust.

I can’t see anything. I feel the silent paroxysm run in waves down my skin. The tang of blood fills my nose
And then, I am on fire.

It clings to my clothes. A liquid conflagration.

The world swims in pain. Blood roars in my ears. It fills my mouth so quickly I need to spit out two crimson mouthfuls.

I run, directionless like a wounded antelope. My feet find seawater. I collapse.

The sea shall comfort you in her tender arms
The sunshine shall warm all the light of the sky
The stars of the night shall guide you from all harm
And forever I love you, so close your eyes.

With the last ounce of my strength, I close my fist around the Battle Knot.

And forever I love you, so close your eyes.

I promise Papa, I will never, ever let go.

And forever I love you, so close your eyes.

Papa? Where are you?

And forever I love you, so close your eyes

And all at once, the Battle Knot unravels in my hands.