Addiction is, in fact, a disease. It inhibits and regulates your life after a while. While Addiction doesn`t have to just be substance, a lot of them are. You can`t love your life, or live it when you are addicted. You salivate at the thought. You just reach deep into your mind hoping that you can go on without it this time. It becomes a crutch, a necessity. You simply can`t live without it.

Normally, it`s the kids from bad family lives and the ones who don`t do good in school that are expected to be addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc. Smart kids are simply too smart to even consider mucking up their brains with such nonsense.  Smart kids don`t party. They don’t smoke or drink. They sit home and study their lives away. At least that`s what's thought of us. Smart kids are above petty things like addiction.  They don`t do stupid things like drugs. Because you know, god forbid a smart kid damages their precious mind. They just know better than to get involved.

That could never be more wrong.

I recall a time not too long ago, some juniors at my high school were caught smoking and dealing marijuana. It was a big fuss and everyone was talking about it. As someone who works for the schools' deans, I got to see these kids. Don`t get the assumption that I work for the deans because I`m a star student. I work there so I can get in on the gossip. And the gossip just happened to be these kids. The first 3 were blonde, haired blue eyed, polish kids. Two out of three of them were smart kids. The deans were confused on how this could happen and the on-campus security looked upset. These kids had such bright futures, but now they were being suspended for drug use and dealing. The next kids to come in were two African American boys who were from a poor part of town and were seen as delinquents. It`s funny how the stereotypes are put into account when discipline is involved. The deans weren`t surprised to see these kids. They were normal. They hadn`t expected any different. These two boys were innocent and were not punished. Imagine that, the smart kids in a drug scandal with no normal kids to fall back on.

They say some drugs can open your mind. Maybe some can. But the end result of the chemicals leaves you so damaged. An example would be lysergic acid diethylamide, more commonly known as LSD or acid. It`s said that if you take the drug more than three times the damage done to your brain can cause you to go insane. But is an open mind worth the price of insanity? Everyone has seen the people that are stereotyped to be associated with the drug. It's tempting, to be free like that. To understand the world on a new level and experience things that you would have never thought you could experience. But smart kids shouldn`t need to be free from their mind. Their mind is perfect. They can already see between the lines. So why would the extra damage be worth seeing things you`ve already known?

Ian, a man who looks a lot like Lincoln and has an affinity for just about everything. He was a heavy user.  Although most of the time it was just marijuana, Ian was a smart kid. He had his head in the clouds. As a high standing chair in the thespian society, an honors student, and an overall nice guy, he really was a poster child for the smart kids. But his use of marijuana slowly took a toll on his mind. He began forgetting his lines and his grades dropped. You would have never known that his home life was less than perfect. That was his reason. Being half Muslim and half polish, expected to reach the stars was too much for him. The weed slowed down his thoughts but brought them together in a way he enjoyed too much. But eventually, that wasn`t enough. Ian Began using LSD. He wanted to feel the world. He wanted to be one with everything and himself. He wanted to open his mind to happiness and all the options around him. He got that. But in the end, it was his downfall. One day he went crazy. The trees and walls started talking to him. So, he took an axe and went to go silence them. The police caught him swinging an axe while walking over a bridge, screaming racist words as they tried to restrain him. He wanted the trees to stop telling him to overthrow the government. He wanted them to stop talking. That was the last time Ian ever did acid. He was expelled from the school and retired inside himself. He gave up acting and socializing and became heavily involved in his religion. His starlight was snuffed out that day. One rare case were a smart kid met the end of their career by trying to widen their mind. No one has seen Ian in years.

But a lot of smart kids are more subtitle then Ian was. With a lot of them, you would never know. It`s rare that the downfall is ever revealed for a smart kid. After all, you don`t want to ruin their name. Smart kids don`t do drugs. They don`t have addictions or problems. They can cope and live life without help. That`s where the world is wrong. A lot of smart kids can’t cope. A lot of them end up falling to more, questionable, methods.

A friend of mine, we`ll call him Mitch, can`t deal with his problems. Mitch has arthritis and asthma. His class schedule is loaded with AP classes and his after-school activities don’t lack either. His girlfriend is a smart kid too. But sometimes I swear she`s oblivious. Mitch comes to school high all the time. He lays his head down on the desk and sleeps through his AP lectures but somehow still passes with flying colors. His depression and stress creeps up on him. Mitch doesn`t know what to do. He wants to be free of his mind. Smart kids are supposed to embrace their minds. They are supposed to marvel at their own ability. Mitch just wants to calm down every once in a while. I remember one time, he had an emotional break. He asked me for a cigarette, and when I didn’t have one he stood in the rain and watched it pour down onto him. He`s been cigarette free for months now. But he still gets high though, because when it comes down to it he just wants to relax. Smart kids aren`t supposed to be stressed. They have no reason to be. Everything works out for smart kids. Marijuana isn`t supposed to be the escape for smart kids. Smart kids aren`t supposed to need an escape.
Another boy, Darren we`ll call him, has it all. The thing about Darren is he has the world in the palm of his hands. Colleges are contacting him, trying to give him full rides to their state schools. He`s a state qualified tennis player. His grades skyrocket and AP chemistry is his strong suit. He`s handsome and a great actor. He smiles and laughs but he was once so wrecked. He`s the smart kid that he is supposed to be, by appearance anyway. He is achieving his dreams, going to college, passing all his classes with more than one hundred percent. Darren smokes a lot of weed. He gets high every weekend. His car gets fogged up and is stained with the smell of blunts and weed. That`s how he has fun you see. He used to weave, craft, and ride his skateboard. Now his happiness comes from a plant at the end of the week. His vape is his best friend and the weed is his savior. Behind his freckles and smart appearance, Darren is a pothead. But potheads aren`t supposed to be smart. They are supposed to eat food on the sofas and sleep instead of doing their work. But here is Darren, the smart kid who`s saving grace is marijuana but leaves the world dumbfounded at his intelligence. Smart kids aren`t supposed to fog their heads like that. But you would never know. You can`t tell at all that he enjoys a good blunt. I guess that’s how much he values being a smart kid. Enough to fall apart and never show a crack except to those who know him best.

Falling apart is something smart kids know well. As previously stated, smart kids break too. A drug crash is shocking, especially for a smart kid. Smart kids don`t need stimulants. They naturally work their minds on over drive. They naturally have the energy and attitude to grasp every task full strength. Sometimes though, they need a little boost. They get that boost and crash and fall. Running and running until you run out of the ground, then you run on nothing till you can`t tell who you are anymore. Smart kids always have somewhere to run. Except for when they don`t. Except for when they have hit the bottom and can`t find a way to crawl themselves back out. After all, in our darkest hour, we pray for the devil to save us.

A white devil lives among us. But not only is it white, but amber or black, it can even be clear. Cocaine is a stimulant. Alcohol is a depressant. Cocaine causes the user to run on high power. It causes its victim to feel like they are on the top of the world. But when you fall from the highest peak, your decent is the most painful. Cocaine has ruined so many lives. Alcohol muddies your world and slows your functions. Why would a smart kid want to slow their thoughts? Why would they want to forget their greatness? Smart kids are supposed to marvel at their greatness. They are supposed to wake up with a smile and live their life like they walk on sunshine. But they don’t. And sometimes they fall into a deeper pit than ever before.

A Girl once lived with me, her name was Jel. Jel is blonde and lanky, her face is pretty and her body was great.  She was aiming to go to Florida to be a nurse. She was well on her way to being great. Her abusive mother and her boyfriend were far in her past. She was emancipated and doing well. But jel had a drinking problem. I remember her coming home, 2 am, drunk and stumbling. She would climb into bed with me and cry and tell me how much she appreciated me. She drank any chance she could. Eventually though, the drinking, marijuana, and cigarettes weren`t enough for her. Jel started doing cocaine.  At first, she was smart about it, never doing it at home. Then one night she punched my window out while high. The next time she left it out on the counter and my brother almost ingested it. She moved out and continued to party. Jel graduated early from high school and moved out to North Carolina. There she doesn`t go to school. She parties and does cocaine all day every day. Her boyfriend is 42 and has a really scraggly beard. He doesn’t know about all the guys she`s slept with though while they were still together, completely and utterly drunk. She was a smart kid. She wasn`t supposed to follow her mother footsteps. Jel was supposed to be a nurse with a nice husband and kids. She was supposed to graduate college. She was supposed to be everything her mother wasn’t. But the world never saw this for her. No one ever thought she`d fall. Smart kids aren`t supposed to fall. They aren`t supposed to live life high wondering whether or not they are going to get a nosebleed this time. They are supposed to be successful and sober. Jel was supposed to be successful and sober.

Alcoholism is more common than people wish to believe. It`s a harsh disease that plays on one's liver. The keg stands aren`t supposed to be for smart kids. Late night bottle of vodka and lime aren`t on the agenda for those who can craft the world with their mind. But when that monster takes over and all you want to do it drink to forget, it`s so hard. To remember nothing and feel at ease. Your stress is gone and you just don`t care. But alcohol kills brain cells. Smart kids wouldn`t dare touch their brain cells. They need them so the people can marvel at something. They need them to stay alive. But alcohol can be a killer. It can rip the life out of the smartest man. It can leave the deepest dent in any person.

I have mentioned johns name earlier. John was one of the most brilliant men I have ever met. I remember now, him being too shy to ask questions about me, so he`d hack my computer to learn more. His father is a Russian hacker, who currently lives in Russia. John was bilingual and had fantastic computer skills like his father. He was my father in a way. He would protect me and threaten to destroy anyone who hurt me like a father would. But his father put him through unparalleled horrors. His 5-year-old niece, murder in front of him by his father. The scars from his father broken bottles of vodka and their fights hidden in his rough hands. His mother threw him out. More than once John lived in an alley for weeks at a time. He developed a drinking problem. Vodka after school. Vodka when he was upset. Vodka before bed. He`d message me, angry and drunk, and then cry that he was sorry. The time he cut my ex while drunk, I think he never forgave himself for. He was a kind man, but a nasty drunk. What eventually killed John wasn`t his anorexia or the alcohol poising. He stood six foot seven weighing all of ninety-eight pounds. John killed himself in the hospital.  It was an overdose. He had been hospitalized at the time for alcohol posing and anorexia again when he took his own life. He was a brilliant mind, a smart kid, thrown into a nasty world. Smart kids are supposed to stand tall. John fell so hard. Smart kids don`t succumb to alcohol. Alcohol took John from me. It took his mind and demented it as well as his liver. For John, the world will forever sing a whiskey lullaby. For the smartest man in his age, who fell to the bitter sweet promise of oblivion, and never returned.

The drugs and alcohol addictions have ruined the lives of so many normal people. The only difference is, the normal people know when to get help. For smart kids, it’s the pride that stops them from stopping themselves from wasting away. If the world only knew what the smart kids had done, they wouldn`t be smart anymore. They would be average. Smart kids are not allowed to be average. They are only allowed to shine and stand above the masses. But when will it become the masses of the dead of their own kind? How many more lives will addiction take? How many more smart kids will fall pray but have too much pride to show it? Smart kids struggle too. You would just never know. Because their cry for help is silent and wrapped within themselves. But it`s deafening.

Save us.