Cleo Moore had never been good at telling the truth. She didn’t lie, exactly, but there was always something she excluded. She was well aware that the truth provided a path to her heart and a clear image into her soul, which was the absolute last thing she wanted. She was determined to keep her walls up and never to let anyone get too close. So, on an unusually sunny January day as she ate lunch with her friends, she paused to decide how much of the truth she could divulge after one of her friends asked a particularly off-putting question.
It started with Alexis running up to the girls breathlessly, her eyes wide and full of excitement. “Everyone, stop what you’re doing!” Alexis exclaimed. “I have the most important news you will ever hear in your lives!”
At this everyone paused mid-chew and gave Alexis their total attention. Inquiries about the upcoming history test could wait. This was clearly their top priority.
“I have,” she announced, pausing dramatically to build anticipation, “a new crush. His name is Todd and he is such a catch.”
All the girls gasped and started pelting her with questions, demanding to know everything about him. They were especially curious about his looks. With this the conversation turned to what makes a boy look the most attractive. Everyone had staunch opinions, and no one could seem to agree.
“It’s definitely the jawline. A sharp jawline is the way to my heart,” claimed Serena.
“No way!” countered Meg. “It’s all about the abs. You remember my ex, Marcus? He had the best abs.”
“You’re all wrong,” declared Alexis. “Has to be the collared shirts. So hot. Especially on Todd,” she added, followed by a chorus of giggles from the group
That’s when they noticed Cleo hadn’t chimed in yet. They looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to proffer an opinion, but she said nothing. Serena broke the silence.
“Wait,” she said incredulously. “Have you ever even had a crush, Cleo?”
“Of course she has. Don’t be ridiculous,” Meg reassured everyone.
Yet as she said it, she realized she wasn’t actually sure. In fact, none of the girls could think of a moment when Cleo had talked about boys at all.
As her friends contemplated the situation, Cleo looked up at the sun and closed her eyes, letting her mind wander back to the girl she could never forget, the girl who always lingered in her mind. She thought about her bright, unwavering smile that always made Cleo feel safe in a world that seemed so scary and unaccepting. She thought about the warmth she felt every time she saw her and how inexplicably right it felt to be with her. She thought about the way they looked at each other like no one else existed. She thought about the afternoons they spent together, talking about everything and nothing at all, and the exact moment that Cleo knew she loved her. She absentmindedly traced her lips and remembered the unadulterated joy of their very first kiss and the heartbreak of their last.
“Cleo! Hello?” someone interjected finally.
Cleo opened her eyes suddenly and shook her head slightly, trying to force the memories from her brain. She saw all her friends staring at her waiting for an answer. And she barely even hesitated before she looked Serena in the eye and said, “No. I haven’t.”