Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.

***

The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.

***

I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.



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This article has 349 comments.


on Mar. 4 2010 at 8:52 pm
Someone_Who_Is_Loved GOLD, Mount Forest, Other
10 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
This quote is one I made up.....<br /> &quot;You can&#039;t climb a mountian without a harness.&quot; It means that you can&#039;t go where you want to get in life without the help of your friends or family.

*pants*

Sorry.

on Mar. 4 2010 at 8:51 pm
Someone_Who_Is_Loved GOLD, Mount Forest, Other
10 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
This quote is one I made up.....<br /> &quot;You can&#039;t climb a mountian without a harness.&quot; It means that you can&#039;t go where you want to get in life without the help of your friends or family.

Hey! I'm a size twelve too! I can totally relate! I hate going shopping cause the cute shirts and pnats never fit me! It's so annoying!

stmxo12 SILVER said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 5:52 pm
stmxo12 SILVER, Troy, Pennsylvania
6 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.&quot;

I love your style, and the title is brilliant! Keep on writing. :)

on Mar. 3 2010 at 6:45 pm
-alice- PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
21 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I care very little if I am judged by you or any other human court; indeed I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. -1 Corinthians 4:3-4

i can totally relate to this!!!! thank you!

on Mar. 3 2010 at 5:16 pm
Lola_Sveroski, Manschef, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am an author. Normal was out of the question by the age of three.

This has been epic. I absolutely loved it!

~LoLa~

on Mar. 3 2010 at 1:54 pm
SuperJules03 GOLD, Bronson, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;&#039;Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game&#039;&#039;

i love your story and i can totally relate it was the same for me and still is but wow i love it

tee-tee said...
on Mar. 3 2010 at 7:48 am
i lyke your written it was nice nd short and still was very powerful i also love the topic yuh chosse to write about because i think every gurl wen they are young main focuse is their weight ii my self also use to think bout mii as

beiin dig

on Feb. 22 2010 at 4:20 pm
BaBii_GhErL PLATINUM, Wasilla, Alaska
27 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Loving someone who doesnt love u is not wrong its just painful!

wow...so well written its short but its well written it has alot of meaning..it tells a whole story in little words...all i can say it WOW GREAT JOB KEEPS IT UP!!

on Feb. 11 2010 at 12:38 pm
Shel-Bells SILVER, Middletown, Delaware
8 articles 2 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
When nothing goes right , go left (:

This is totally relateable i feel that way no . friends always want to share clothes and i no that there clothes wont fit. I experianced alot of things it seems you've gone through. So simple and well written!

on Feb. 9 2010 at 3:42 pm
Wow. that was amazing & moving & just...wow

zoeyy SILVER said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 2:54 pm
zoeyy SILVER, Indianola, Iowa
6 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
free at last free at last thank God almighty free at last

this was a good peice but it really WOWED me so it's more then good it's awsome

zoeyy SILVER said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 2:52 pm
zoeyy SILVER, Indianola, Iowa
6 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
free at last free at last thank God almighty free at last

i can really feel the pain in the words WOW

on Feb. 9 2010 at 1:19 pm
Chuckney BRONZE, London, Other
2 articles 3 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You cannot be lonely if you like the person you&rsquo;re alone with. &quot; Wayne Dyer.

The fact that this is tagged in the Nonfiction section gives it such sad poignance, because for so many girls this is not fiction at all. It's real and distressing. You bring that out fantastically: the carefully chosen words hit home.

on Feb. 7 2010 at 9:03 am
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
Okay, I used to b friends w a girl hoo was like that, n after a while it just braut me down

on Feb. 4 2010 at 8:59 pm
loveandmusic SILVER, South Plainfield, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If everyone demanded peace instead of a new television set, then there&#039;d be peace.&quot; - John Lennon

omg, this is so me. when i was in elementary school i used to just break down crying in the dressing room because i was so big, and sometimes it still happens now, and its just blahhh....

But this was really well written and good (:

Mr. Anderson said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 11:59 am
wow great story wonderful description

on Jan. 29 2010 at 12:36 pm
13kayrose BRONZE, Fonda, New York
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
loved the story

on Jan. 26 2010 at 11:11 am
KallieAllieBingbong BRONZE, Miami, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;&#039; Kallie this school can`t go on with out you I love you you can`t leave your FUNNY, AND SMART&#039;&#039;

Yeah I also agree dont be ashamed of what is in front of you holding back whatever it is just be glad that you can be that tall or too short Im short and I dont let that hold me back:]

on Jan. 19 2010 at 8:16 am
ShrEk..! BRONZE, Jaipur, Other
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
if ur goin through hell... keep goin!

seriously, being thin is not the only option left..

i too feel left out wen my frnds go shoppin widout me cos they fit in da same size bt i dnt..

pls keep writin..

on Jan. 18 2010 at 8:11 pm
LeslieAnn BRONZE, Midvale, Utah
1 article 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\&quot;Dream as if you\\\\\\\&#039;ll live forever, Live as if you\\\\\\\&#039;ll die today\\\\\\\&quot; \\\\\\\&quot;Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.\\\\\\\&quot;

realistic and completely to the point. I can most definalty relate