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Dear Friend...
Dear Friend,
I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending that everything is ok. I'm tired of going to bed in a house where nobody wants me. I'm tired of waking up and believing for a split second that my life is different. I'm tired of living, eating, breathing, working, schooling and never leaving the place in which I'm anonymous to the majority, and used in 'relationships of mutual convenience' by the minority.
Writing this will achieve nothing. No one of meaning will read it. No one of meaning need read it. The truth is, I'm not depressed, nor am I suicidal - I'm too smart for that, have had too much experience for that. I've seen death, both the intentional and unintentional. I've even prevented death, both the intentional and unintentional. Consequentially I'm aware of my compelling desire to avoid death. So just so people don't get the wrong impression, this is not a cry for help, more like a message to those who can understand that sometimes, nothing seems good in this world.
I have no life, all I seem to do is work. Whilst all of my peers go out and party, I'm stuck day after day after day doing compulsory menial tasks which benefit no one and yet for some unknown reason are 'necessary'.
The thing is, this hasn't been a great month for me. My house and town almost burnt down (still might). My ex-boyfriend asked my now ex-bestfriend out. My mother is sick. Very sick. And yet these aren't the reasons for the constant negative emotion of which I currently possess. I don't know what it is, but I can only describe it as tiredness. Constantly lethargic. Unable to process emotion. Unable to care about what's happening in the world, unable to care about what happens in mine.
Every day I'm here, is one less day I have to stay here. But the truth is that I know I can't be the only one feeling this way. And I'd love if anyone would be willing to share their story with me.
Kind regards.
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