Crying on my mom’s shoulder was almost a routine when I was in middle school. Letting it out always seemed to make it better and to give me hope that tomorrow could not be any worse than today; however, it became the only thing that was holding me together through my daily activities. I was always that chunky girl with glasses in school that always sat in the front of the class and that always was a teacher’s pet, that always made the superior grades, and that always was alienated from friendship with peers. I would be the classmate that people would run to for help and I loved being able to help people because it made me feel like they needed me, that they cared about me and I already knew that I cared about them so it should work, right? What it really turned out to be was that I was people pleaser and my classmates took advantage of that, and I let them because I thought that after I did this one thing for them they would see how much I wanted to be their friend and perhaps they would want to be my friend back. I wanted to talk to people as a companion and not just as the nerdy girl in the back of the class. I wanted change.

When my parents placed me in band my first year of middle school I was excited because I thought that it would become something that people would have in common with me and that just maybe I would be able to form relationships with my peers. My middle school band director sat me down and let me choose the instrument that I would like to play and I chose the trumpet. I chose the trumpet because my dad played the trumpet so I thought that I would be good at it and I would be able to get some help from him when I needed it plus I honestly thought that if I was really good at it some of classmates would be impressed and not see me as a nobody. Three years of middle school band classes went by and I was sitting at the front of my section and I still had yet to find that one person who I thought actually cared about me as a person and who was my true friend. I was struggling to be able to come to school anymore because of the loneliness and depression I felt and I just wanted to hide away underneath the covers like a child during a thunderstorm. I needed something to change drastically in my life because without it I was going to miserable and unhappy with whom I was becoming.

One day in band class a group of students came over from the high school to talk about the band program and even more specifically, marching band. I heard all of the students talking about how much fun marching band is and how the entire band is like a big family with friends always surrounding you no matter what happened. To me this sounded too good to be true. I had spent three years in band and had not formed any long lasting relationships with the people around me and these kids were talking about marching band being a big “family,” like I would just join marching band and I immediately would form friendships with people I never would have thought I would. It sounded like a dream to me that would never come true. What if I did sign up? I would probably end up embarrassing myself because I was a larger girl and I was scared that my playing abilities wouldn’t have been anywhere close to the students I was listening to describing the band “family.” What if I didn’t sign up and I regret not trying? I do not know what gave me the strength to walk up and sign my name on the list that day but looking back it was one of the best decisions of my life.

Marching band became my way to get away from all of the stress surrounding me in my school and home life. I looked forward to playing my instrument on Friday nights in the fall. Hearing the crowds cheer, smelling the fresh food at the concession stands, playing battle of the bands with the opposing marching bands (whoever it may be), and just being able to be a special part of our school spirit. The most special part of marching band was that I had friends and people who genuinely cared about me as a person. Marching on that field every Friday night was a team effort and you have to support your team members in order for the team to succeed. This simple fact made me feel like I was important for once in my life and that people actually needed me to help them as much as I needed them in return.

Marching band has changed my life for the better and I will always appreciate the people who were kind to me during my first year and who helped me to become the more confident person I am today. Marching band is truly a huge family and I am so glad that I am a part of that family now. I would suggest to anyone having any doubts about doing something out of their comfort zone to just go for it because in the long run you will change and be able to experience something you have never experienced before. There are people out there who will never leave you behind and will always be there to help in tough situations; you just have to take the risk to find them. Joining marching band has been my risk and it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life.