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Mirror of Me
I am tired.
I am tired waiting around for things to be different. I am tired of the uncertainty and instability. I am tired of never knowing what is coming and hating the idea of change. I want things to be the same, and familiar. I want to feel warm and invited when I go anywhere, and know that it will still be there. Instead the idea of change swoops me up into a hurricane of emotions. Not knowing the way out, because there is only darkness. I am exhausted and overwhelmed. I am a teenager, still trying to figure who I am and only seeing who I want to be. I am too young for half of the things I want to do, and too old for the rest. I am tired of trying to tell them how I really feel, only to be shut down. I am tired of feeling like I have no control over my own life. I am tired of having so many feelings, but not a single way to express them. I am tired of being asked why I am upset, only to tell them and being pushed away. I am tired of wanting to be different, and have familiarity. I am tired…
But most of all,
I am tired of shouting to be heard, only to be silenced.
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This is a small piece written by me. It is about feeling like everything you are is being pushed away and feeling like you'll never be good enough for society's standards. I especially have a hard time appreciating who I am RIGHT NOW, when all I can see are people with everything I want. How I want to look, how confident I want to feel. Mostly it is about the mess of adolescence, and growing up.