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Seventeen
I yearned for seventeen
Dancing around with my teddy bear
Ten year old me would pretend
It was my boyfriend
Who asked me to prom
(We were the most popular couple at school)
I yearned for seventeen
Watching Mean Girls and Clueless on repeat
Oh, how I wanted to be Cher Horowitz
“As if!” I would tell my friends
Though none of them understood the reference
I yearned for seventeen
My desire for independence
Overtaking me
Playing pretend
In my dad’s old Nissan
Though I had no idea
Which pedal was the gas
And which the brake
Now I am seventeen
Yearning for ten
For the times when Christmas
Meant watching Elf and drinking hot chocolate
And asking Mall Santa
For all the presents in the world
I yearn for ten
When the closest thing to drama
Was a debate over who won the Tetherball match
When fights with friends
Were forgotten with a simple hug
I yearn for ten
When having a “boyfriend”
Meant holding hands during recess
And sharing snacks at lunch
When arguments were out of the picture
And there were no worries
About what would happen to our relationship in college
I yearn for ten
In the same way I yearned for seventeen
Isn’t it funny?
Our childhoods slip away
Like ice in our hands
Before we even realize
Idealism taking over appreciation
Appreciation taking over when it's too late
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As I've grown, as I've come closer to adulthood, I've found myself wishing more and more often to be young again. I think back to my childhood and I so often remember how much I wanted this stage in my life, how often I would play "high school" and pretend like I was the most popular girl around. It all felt so ironic, seeing how quickly I switched gears as soon as I got to the age I was hoping for, and I wanted to write a poem expressing this irony. I think a lot of people will understand, I hear so many people around me talk about how much they wish they could go back to the person they were when the were eight or nine or ten.