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Lingering Questions
If you could, would you go back and change things? Would you make it so that we could work? Or would you have just not started it?
Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to go back to being friends? Did you say it knowing that nothing will be the same again? Did you say it knowing that we would both change so much in the time we were apart that we would become strangers? Did you say it, all the while knowing how it was to end?
Do you reminisce, reminisce like you do your past relationships? I know that sometimes you long for your past relationships that lasted a fraction of the time we had together. Did you miss them while we were together? Was I not enough to replace them? Or was I enough; tell me, do you still think about what we had.
Do you still have the bracelet I gave you? I don’t mind if you don’t; I broke my half of it the day we broke. Do you even remember it? I hope you do.
Do you think about me when you wear that shirt? The very one I told you to buy, the one that you bought because I told you that you looked good in it? I see you wear it often, and maybe you don’t remember it, but I do. I can’t even look in your direction when you have it on.
Do you know I still love you; how would you react? I know it’s been ages; longer than it even lasted but you showed me kindness in ways I didn’t know were possible. And I know it looks like I hate you, and I know that maybe I don’t treat you with the kindness you deserve. But maybe I just pretend to hate you, pretend to be over everything so that maybe one day, I can convince myself that it’s true. Sometimes I wish you had hurt me, maybe then I wouldn’t feel such longing for the past. Sometimes I wish we could speak to one another, that I could tell you everything I have written so far. Would you care? Would you think I’m crazy?
Do you find it strange I still love you? Is there any chance you may love me back?
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