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bathtime
As hot water fills the porcelain bath and condensation runs down the mirror
My skin burns and sweats
My body’s gone numb and I can't feel a thing yet it's the most sensational thing I've ever experienced
My mind's blank but still running laps unaware
My breathing rapid, I feel myself disbanding
I wish nothing more than to run outside and let the cold breeze take me
While trying to hold together my failing body I tense
My heart races
My heart
Why does it feel scared
Why it is scared of me as if I am someone else and not the host
As if I am not capable of saving me
At this point, I've come to a realization
I turn off the faucet and watch the steam from the bath rise
Still my body red with heat and fear
I get up numbly
Pushing myself through the bathroom door
I arrive to an empty house
the stillness in the air strangles me
As I walk, water trails behind me
My vision is faltering, and the stairs seem shorter than usual, yet I decide to walk them
A misstep brings me pummeling down a winding staircase
The textured carpet on the stairs tears and pulls at my skin leaving behind it's traces of victory
As i walk into the kitchen, too many things cloud my vision
A large silver box catches my attention
My hand reach out clanging at the box’s door
Fingertips now gliding down it’s surface
Shots of ice run up through my arms and then up to my shoulders forcing them to jump and shake
Goosebumps arise, pushing out from my skin
Coldness envelops my upper half yet I persist, finding the smooth steel handle
I pull hard enough for jars to rattle on the interior sides as a breeze of sharp icy air swooshes out slicing my exposed skin
I rummage through my fridge throwing every object down and out of the way to find something to quench my insatiable thirst
Glass shatters on the floor beneath me
A jar containing liquid falls and splatters onto my shin trickling down to my ankle
My stance is interrupted as the unsympathetic liquid freezes my leg
Now shaking even more profusely I continue my search
My hand grasps an ice-cold bottle and I force open its plastic cap
Beginning to chug, the coldness from the liquid pierces my throat
Gulping down water as sharp as razors, they prick at my throat craving through my intestines I can only bear it for so long
I pull down the bottle gasping for air helplessly
It is now when I take in my situation
Glass is shattered on the ground around me and one wrong move and I’m toast
Slowly my mind begins to catch up with me and I see that the only area free of glass is right where I’m standing
I glide my wet back down the fridge and slide onto the floor while holding my knees up to my chest, careful to not let the glass get into my skin
I think of my escape and how I'll make it back, but my only option is braving the glass on the floor in front of me
And so I do
As I take the first step, glass begins invading my foot, I clench my fist and begin to move my other foot putting all the weight on the foot with the glass already stuck inside
This time instead of clenching my fist for relief I bite down hard on my bottom lip and resist the urge to scream
A metallic flavor begins swarming my mouth
Once I’m past the glass I fall to my knees and drag my punctured corpse back to the stairs
Realization sets in, “I can’t make it back, I’ve gone too far this time.”
My heart begins to pound again and now I agree with it
My mind skims through every memory I have looking for a way out of this situation I’ve put myself in
I remember that due to paranoia a little while back I had set up alarms that would alert authorities if someone were to break in
So every place that can be opened in my home will blar an alarm and call the cops unless deactivated in five minutes
I think of this as useful, since at this point I suspect my injuries seem to be worse than once thought
I feel the back of my head to check for blood and feel nothing but my wet hair from the bath
I run my fingers through my hair, happy to know my head’s fine
When I bring my hand back, a crimson color covers it, there’s so much of it on my hand it begins to drip off the side
I scream, but it sounds more like a growl of how hoarse my voice is
Now I know the extent of my injuries range from my head pouring out blood and glass covering my feet
Panic sets in and determination fills me, I’m surprised to see there’s any strength left in me as I trudge my body over to the first-floor window
This time it's not water that trails behind me, its blood
I reach the window and with my bloody hand I desperately try to push it up
My hand glides around the window unable to get a grip, but finally, from pure luck, it manages to ever so slightly open
I heard the alarm sound, I have never felt more relief from having my eardrums be busted
I let a long sigh any energy I have left spilling out of me, leaving me
As my body starts to power off and my heart calms
So I lay there closing my eyes, letting sleep overtake the indescribable pain I’m in
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I wrote this cause I took a hot bath