you taught me to be a man
when i was a boy
unrelenting
never let anything free
slice the fish
toss the guts
let them dry
my eyes become red
i wipe the blood off my hands
my hands
that are your hands

after days months years
i still fish at the docks
the palm trees like nuns
keeping to themselves
seconds minutes hours later
the waves rippled now silent
like the control of a tyrant
my line has no bite no ability to fight
i’m stranded like an island

night comes buildings close but i decide
to wait in the rain nowhere to hide
like orphans in the street
who cry alone with little to eat
and vomit blood days in a row
unless they’re careful and walk real slow
so thin they can slip into stores
around the edges of the doors
the night goes quiet distant why
do babies die before they cry

the days are swallowed away
like pills and dreams
and sleep
just sleep
as mosquitoes eat away
the irises in your eye
fantasies that die

it was forever just each other
now i won’t get another
chance to tell you im sorry
i abandoned you and the sea
being a man means nothing to me