Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2185 comments.


on Aug. 10 2011 at 9:39 am
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;d rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn&#039;t do.<br /> -Red Scott

At loss of words. Simply nothing to say about something this great!

Can someone read some of my work, rate and comment? especially my two attempts at poetry ("The Violinist" and "For What Have All These People Died?"), I need to know how some of my first tries went.


i<3m said...
on Aug. 8 2011 at 4:40 pm
i love this poem i agree tat u should post more your a great writer

on Aug. 8 2011 at 6:43 am
sarah.xx BRONZE, Sydney, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love the depth in this poem and the hidden meaning. Truly remarkable.

on Aug. 7 2011 at 2:19 pm
TheWickedOne GOLD, Newton, Illinois
10 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I&#039;ve been smiling, but inside I&#039;m dying.

beautiful! it stands out from others and shows creativity!

AliLinnS GOLD said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 9:01 pm
AliLinnS GOLD, Heislerville, New Jersey
12 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love you, sweet Kate. And I&#039;m truly sorry about this. I do feel...everything.&quot; -Casanova<br /> Kiss The Girls by James Patterson

Amazing, Honey! Great job!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 8:46 am
purplequeen BRONZE, Boston, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 55 comments
Great! Can you guys read and comment on mine?? Please I will read yours if you read mine!

on Jul. 31 2011 at 4:01 pm
-hannah- SILVER, --, Other
6 articles 1 photo 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The books that help you most are those which make you think that most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading; but a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep freighted with truth and beauty.&quot;

really good poem :D keep writing more becaue this one is amazing :)

on Jul. 27 2011 at 5:29 pm
KayleeRae PLATINUM, Arvada, Colorado
34 articles 49 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Either write something worth doing or do something worth writing.&quot;

I love this, it has very nice rhythm :D

on Jul. 25 2011 at 5:30 pm
hollygolightly109 SILVER, Seattle, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

The imagery, strong. The meaning people find in water, sand, stone, and flying is something that you're using so simply! It connects on such a basic level. 

Your piece inspired me to put more of these universal images and meanings in my work... make people connect!

Thanks.


jenna-e said...
on Jul. 25 2011 at 12:15 am
jenna-e, Fremont, California
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Very nice.

poet.lover said...
on Jul. 24 2011 at 7:12 pm
wow that's amazing! i can relate to an extent and the emotion is so strong

on Jul. 21 2011 at 4:13 pm
Ashley Mason BRONZE, Sturbridge, Massachusetts
4 articles 3 photos 11 comments
anyone who appreciated this should also read my poem Briar Rose

on Jul. 21 2011 at 12:57 am
SoCalBarbie SILVER, Riverside, California
5 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;whoever said the sky is the limit was incorrect, because I saw footprints on the moon.&quot;

i absolutely adored it, and can completely relate. check out  some of my work 2 and gimme your feedback.

on Jul. 20 2011 at 9:59 pm
NathanBHooker GOLD, Wentzville, Missouri
14 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Those that care don&#039;t matter; and, those that matter don&#039;t care.&quot;

I enjoyed your peice, keep it up. Look at my work?

on Jul. 19 2011 at 9:24 pm
fortetennis SILVER, Santa Barbara, California
5 articles 1 photo 4 comments
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. I am sorry about your relationship with your father. I strongly urge you to stand up to him. 

on Jul. 18 2011 at 1:45 pm
vzimmerman PLATINUM, Ontario, New York
40 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Happiness is the key to success, if you love what your doing you will be successful.&quot;

Wonderful images! Great emotions and you put words together so smoothly it's a great gift. :) Keep writing. And if possible can you check out some of my pieces? 

TAR11 SILVER said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 5:34 pm
TAR11 SILVER, Allison Park, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Cool poem.  Please check out mine if you get the chance.  From the Hilltop and Anonymous' Inferno. 

Mazzer BRONZE said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 4:03 pm
Mazzer BRONZE, Bonne Terre, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
I feel your pain.

on Jul. 14 2011 at 12:48 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
I loved it. It was a very moving poem. I just wrote two stories called nightstalker and the beast. If any of u read them make sure u post comments saying if u liked them or not or if i should change anything. I enjoy listening to feed back and tips about writing better. Thanks!  :D

on Jul. 11 2011 at 3:08 am
BrokenThorn BRONZE, Blenheim, Other
3 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ve lived your life Like a candle in the wind. Not knowing who to cling to when the rain set in&quot;<br /> - Sir Elton John

Its just criticisim, they're just voicing they're opinion. Could have done it more polietly however