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Monster
September 11, 2009
As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.
~Little does she know of the monster I am~
© Elizabeth G., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 207 comments.
herky said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 1:47 pm
LOL that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! and a little creepy
PinkNinjaHater SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 7:04 am
GREAT job I love your symbols and it was awesome...fantastic
BibliophileFreak BRONZE said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 3:10 pm
I like this. I like a little crazy in my bowl of Capn' Crunch!
Savannalore SILVER said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 2:02 pm
This is the third time I've read this piece, and it still seems to me like the "monster" is trying to convince herself if her own cruelty. She says the girl doesn't mean anything to her, but I think she's someone different than how she portrays herself to be.
welcometoplanetearth SILVER said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 6:38 am
Very dark and riveting... proves that even short pieces can be exciting!
GaelicC said...
on Nov. 12 2011 at 3:28 am
To be honest i never knew such a short piece could be so good, so powerful! Brilliant!:)
LifesIllusion BRONZE said...
on Nov. 11 2011 at 9:13 pm
Loved it! i especially like your writing stlye. Check out my work? thanks!
sarahmichelle98 said...
on Nov. 11 2011 at 3:41 pm
very nicee:) sounds like the same kind of thing i would write similar to my style
Gumballlover BRONZE said...
on Nov. 11 2011 at 1:20 pm
This touched me. It is an awesome writing piece.
Eliahumandoglover SILVER said...
on Nov. 10 2011 at 5:26 pm
I like how you write the piece from the villain's point of view. I could almost feel the mosnter about to the suck the baby's blood or something.
Crazymexican GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 9:54 pm
I like this. Teachers worried? Maybe because your a better writer
-OathKeeper- BRONZE said...
on Oct. 29 2011 at 1:18 pm
This was sublime. You leave a lot to the imagination and do it correctly at that. There are so many meaning behind this that once can draw out, so many differnt turns and twists to imagine in ones mind. Very interesting.
SmileyBabe SILVER said...
on Oct. 22 2011 at 7:03 am
Oh my god I loved it!
iamonecoolradiator said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 3:51 pm
I like how you leave it kind of ambiguous. I really thought it was a great piece of writing but maybe you could extend it a bit? then maybe it would have even more of an effect! You don't have to, but if you ever have a spare moment could you take a look at my work? thanks x
deleteddeletedFoff said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 10:55 am
......if i were your teacher i'd be sending you to the counselor...but bravo....
ERochelle23 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 12 2011 at 1:39 pm
I really like this! Your word choice and imagery is fantastic, and you never actually specify how you are a monster which makes me want to read more. Although it sounds good at first, you use "Little did she know..." several times, I think if you changed the wording around a bit it might sound even better!
