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Jerk MAG
January 2, 2009
I love your voice,
your soft brown hair.
I love your eyes
and love your stare.
I love your laugh,
your cocky smirk,
your stupid jokes.
You precious jerk,
you know I do.
I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand.
I’m wrapped around
your finger still.
Am I yet yours?
Your love does kill
the things I hold
so close to me
and yet you’re the
best jerk I see.
© Colton D., Lubbock, TX
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This article has 1558 comments.
olympian-queen said...
on May. 27 2010 at 5:22 pm
so true! go head and tell the truth. this is confusing!
olympian-queen said...
on May. 27 2010 at 5:20 pm
its not that great but try to give the writter some respect and tell them why it's not good so that they can fix the problem. don't be flat out mean.
olympian-queen said...
on May. 27 2010 at 5:16 pm
i am not loving the rhyme. it could have been more heartfelt without it. show the reader why you love him. describe how he treats you and what you feel when he treats you that way. that way the reader can relate to you and your dependance/attachment to him.
haventy0uheard PLATINUM said...
on May. 26 2010 at 6:58 pm
i can relate :D keep writing!
Alicia-Turner BRONZE said...
on May. 25 2010 at 9:19 pm
Wow, this is wonderful.Your amazing:) Now isnt everyone in some point of their lives, in love with a jerk? lol
countrygirl9246 said...
on May. 25 2010 at 5:39 pm
i cant believe that you are goin to say such terrible things to a young writer. it is beautiful and obviously goes to deeper, more emotional feelings than you are capeable of comprehending. if you aint got nothin nice to say then SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!
VictorianGirl61807 SILVER said...
on May. 25 2010 at 5:02 pm
AWESOME!!! i know many who fit this description keep writing!!
SundanceKid SILVER said...
on May. 25 2010 at 12:46 pm
I agree!! It took me three times before I got what it meant
deadclarinetgirl said...
on May. 25 2010 at 12:45 pm
It confuses me and yet I like it. Keep writting
whispersofthenight GOLD said...
on May. 25 2010 at 11:40 am
great!!! It's really creative even though it's so simple.
I like the rhyme, too. It adds a lot to it. I don't get why people don't like that.
ari40588 said...
on May. 25 2010 at 11:27 am
i like it. i think that ppl our age really should try new things like this. its different and i like that
BrittNicole BRONZE said...
on May. 25 2010 at 10:01 am
i completely agree with you. i love this poem and it describes a lot of relationships
Jade-McKaye SILVER said...
on May. 25 2010 at 9:44 am
even if you dont like it you dont have to be mean, there is such a thing as constructive criticism... try it.
8 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I think it is cute... and the ryhming is good,
but it seems so simple, and a rather common thing for teenagers to write about.