Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2185 comments.


byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:56 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
Sorry, I should have said this already.. but I really need some critiques on my work, and I'd love it if some others could read them and comment :)

byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:55 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
I love this. I really do. I had to read it a couple times through to really absorb it, and once I did I was thoroughly impressed. To be a little more "short and sweet" (you guessed it - my weakness!) this was beautiful. I hope one day my poetry will be this great!

on Nov. 30 2011 at 9:06 am
Aaliyahthepoet123 BRONZE, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I think this poem was wonderful :) and some people who said it wasn't good, does not know the meaning of poetry.... One word "creativity".

ihatedemapes said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 5:12 am
all them people that said this was good, are LIARS, just praying you read what they call "poetry" Or "Art" if you will, but lets be serious, this sucks.. and for all who did not know, men dont have a womb, change the title noob.

on Nov. 28 2011 at 6:44 pm
ReversePrint BRONZE, Manchester, Iowa
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
“Love is much like a wild rose; beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.” -Mark Overby

This is an amazing poem :) good job!

Jeast10 GOLD said...
on Nov. 28 2011 at 4:47 pm
Jeast10 GOLD, Beaumont, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when nothing goes right... go left."

it doesnt matter how many times i read this, i get goosebumps every time! check out my work plz((((((::::

on Nov. 28 2011 at 11:01 am
dakotawright SILVER, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix

Very Metaphoric.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 4:38 pm
Amanda_Roo BRONZE, Sandy, Utah
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.&quot;<br /> &quot;People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they&rsquo;re not on your road doesn&rsquo;t mean they&rsquo;ve gotten lost.&rdquo;<br /> &quot;A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you&quot; -Dalai Lama

Every time I read this, it fills me with an emotion I can't name. This is FANTASTIC!...I would love it if you could get the chance sometime to check out some of my work. Thank you :)

Meredith15 said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 8:42 pm
Meredith15, Cypress, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You must be the change you want to see in the world.&quot; <br /> -Mahatma Gandhi

nicely written!

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 12:20 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
Absolutely amazing poem, I love it. Would you mind reading some of my work if you get a chance? I would love to hear what you think!

on Nov. 22 2011 at 3:55 pm
Kimmie_Kat SILVER, Orlando, Florida
5 articles 3 photos 14 comments
swifthearth, I would like to thank you, for your nice comment, and support. :)

on Nov. 22 2011 at 1:21 pm
AlyBUdawgs BRONZE, Indianapolis, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
I liked it a lot it tells a story in a beautiful inavative way (:

on Nov. 22 2011 at 12:09 pm
swiftheart GOLD, Houston, Texas
17 articles 5 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect 5 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?&quot;

I sometimes ask myself the sameted of like us  question, but the fact is that these people all started off like us-Unnoticed.- They had to work there way to this level.

Ps. I also enjoy your work.


on Nov. 22 2011 at 12:05 pm
swiftheart GOLD, Houston, Texas
17 articles 5 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect 5 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?&quot;

I loved it! You incoperated so much into one poem making it all the more powerful. Creative title, nice wording and an inspiring meaning. 

I would be honored if you looked at some of my poems.


on Nov. 21 2011 at 8:57 am
Kimmie_Kat SILVER, Orlando, Florida
5 articles 3 photos 14 comments
First of all, Ginger I really appreciate what you said and how you put your comment in a nice way. Second of all, leyna in my POV i was just wondering how this writer got so popular because i really enjoy writing and i wanted to know how to get my writing knowed. Also, you can't judge my writing if you haven't read it.

on Nov. 19 2011 at 6:22 pm
Kayotic PLATINUM, Goodyear, Arizona
37 articles 9 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
You aren&#039;t having fun unless you&#039;re commiting sin~ Priest

I love such poetry!It just reminds me of so many things!Great job!

 


on Nov. 19 2011 at 5:31 pm
artmantist BRONZE, Willemstad, Other
3 articles 0 photos 72 comments

hello, nice poem. Would u guys wanna check out my work. its called the cottage 

thank u


on Nov. 19 2011 at 3:08 pm
KristinHopkins8 SILVER, Aspen, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die&quot;

creative title!

on Nov. 19 2011 at 9:42 am
BridgetND BRONZE, Warsaw, Indiana
3 articles 0 photos 17 comments
this was wonderful!! =] i was wondering if anyone could view my work and tell me what they think? it would mean alot to me

on Nov. 18 2011 at 9:04 pm
Ginger_ninja72521 SILVER, Fort Worth, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I think this is amazingly deep. I love all of your metaphors! The simplness of your wording brought so much meaning! I can't wait to see more!