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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2185 comments.

Ginger_ninja72521 SILVER said...
on Nov. 18 2011 at 9:02 pm
Ginger_ninja72521 SILVER, Fort Worth, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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It shouldn't matter if your stuff is discussed most or the most popular, just that it makes you happy to know that it's out there or that you can write at all. :) And we should support such amazing writers such as this one and learn from them to better our own skills!
Leyna1997 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 18 2011 at 12:01 pm
Leyna1997 BRONZE, Crystal, Minnesota
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Favorite Quote:
And I&#039;ll write you poetry,<br /> with the prettiest words that you ever did read,<br /> no i never write like that.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Sick of Sarah

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No disrespect, but maybe if you put a little more effort into writing your poetry and getting noticed instead of putting time into bragging and whinning, we would all be looking and commenting on your poem instead.
Cubster BRONZE said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 4:27 pm
Cubster BRONZE, Lindstrom, Minnesota
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Have you written poetry pefore? You are my inspiration.
cftcft9090 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 11:26 am
cftcft9090 BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
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This was amazing!!!!!!!!! How do you find the inspiration to create such a magnificent piece, or any piece in general?
emattox SILVER said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 10:51 am
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I had to read this like five times before I could comprehend it :) The message is really good, definitely one of those that makes you think!
Kimmie_Kat SILVER said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 6:12 pm
Kimmie_Kat SILVER, Orlando, Florida
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HAVE YOU GUYS EVER WONDERED HOW THESE POEMS GOT SOOOOOO POPULAR? HOE IS IT SO POPULAR? I WRITE GOOD POEMS TOO!
Adam said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 9:16 am
This was a pretty cool and confusing story. My best friend drowned in a pond so it was a little sad that he say you will drown...
SassysGirl said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 8:56 am
 I think this poem is really good as it uses a lot of description and good detail. why didnt the sons father let him him, but he let him fly?
PRDGirl BRONZE said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 8:40 am
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I think it was  just great.
TheWhiteFlower BRONZE said...
on Nov. 14 2011 at 1:35 pm
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good job!

check out my poem

TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/382423/I-Want-To-Be-The-Happiest-Girl/
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 14 2011 at 6:49 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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she deff does. i tell her everyday. and i give her a high five and help her out as much as i can. i love her. shes my fav teacher.

:)

JayJay1998 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 13 2011 at 5:45 pm
JayJay1998 BRONZE, Lenexa, Kansas
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That was  amazing! 
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 13 2011 at 1:38 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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That's true. Tell your teacher they're awesome =) I don't think they hear it enough.
HannahLaRen SILVER said...
on Nov. 12 2011 at 4:54 pm
HannahLaRen SILVER, Atchison, Kansas
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Amazing poem, very deep, I love your choice of words. great job.! 
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 10 2011 at 6:58 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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one of my teachers always say its better to keep them wanting more. :)
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 8:17 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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Yep. I guess it's best to leave some mystery in poems, to make them more interesting.
Dreammer GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 3:08 pm
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Well written look at mine and comment please :) Oh yeah I'd like an honest opinion
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 6:39 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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Favorite Quote:
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makes you wonder

 

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
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I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.
DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
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Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!