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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2185 comments.

wesley d said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 8:45 am
wesley d, Shady, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
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nice job....

 

Ayushi_austen BRONZE said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 4:44 am
Ayushi_austen BRONZE, Kolkata, Other
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my thoughts exactly!!write something commendable(like dis 1 )and then we shall see....
teenpoet8 said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 7:51 pm
Bubblybubbles223 hey listen, i know youre entitled to your opinion and all, but this is a site for constructive criticism, not cruelty.  .  i feel bad for the author of this poem because they do not deserve to put up with what you think is just a harmless opinion.
the.beast said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 4:38 pm
i never had a dad........i want one like this one!
knitwit96 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 2:20 pm
knitwit96 BRONZE, Mt Clemens, Michigan
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i really like this poem 
Bakerstudent13 said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 2:41 pm
That was really good! I wish i had a dad who was cool like yours....?
Grandma BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 2:14 pm
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yea me too :-(
BigJoe92 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 12:06 pm
BigJoe92 BRONZE, Bartlett, Illinois
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I wish I had a cool dad :(
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on Feb. 22 2011 at 10:41 pm
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Cute poem, not my favorite but still enjoyable to read
Annie said...
on Feb. 22 2011 at 8:07 am
The comments here are supposed to be on this poem, not to advertise your own work. Also, when I did a search for your screename, you don't even have any work on this website, unless it's anonymous; anyway, my point being-this is not the place to advertise your work.
writer500 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 21 2011 at 5:57 pm
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Hey Guys! Im posting this here because the largest amount of people will probably view it. So, i want to say please check out some of my work i want to know what you think-thanks!!
ski_mayday BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2011 at 7:10 pm
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I guess I would like to know what the other was thinking when they wrote it because I can't figure it out.
evergreen232 said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 7:46 pm
evergreen232, Portland, Oregon
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Wow. this is a gr8 poem!! keep it up!!! :)
evergreen232 said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 7:44 pm
evergreen232, Portland, Oregon
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i agree with ya searbear180. i love the poem a lot!
KassidyLeigh GOLD said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:41 pm
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 love how you can almost picture a story in your head of what is being played out! It really is amazing!

Please check out my poem too!   TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/295514/You-Are-My-Ocean/

preteen11 said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:35 pm
i love your oem daddys womb free verse because it gives me good pleasure and i am visualizing a picture so thanks for that! any comments and questions for me??
searbear180 said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 8:52 pm
No i dont think so. Remember, he said the line about the sea? but maybe...thats a really good poem though
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 7:12 pm
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
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My point exactly. And I am going to discontinue this conversation after this comment, as it is going absolutely nowhere. One last thing: I wish you'd stop saying I'm trying to change your opinion! I am not doing that. I'm sharing mine. There is no opinion involved in this conversation anymore. This is just two people trying to make the other person look bad. So I apologize if that's how you perceived my words as. Goodbye, then.
Popcorngirl BRONZE said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:26 pm
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It made perfect sense to me... I dunno what you guys are spouting
Bubblybubbles223 PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:18 pm
Bubblybubbles223 PLATINUM, Warren, Oregon
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I agree. its a pretty good poem but i wish the top voted poem was one that made more sense.