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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2185 comments.

AVERAGE BRONZE said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 1:57 pm
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
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Please check out my work=) greatly appreciated =). . . .LOVED IT! which i think i've already told you haha =P
MSTie said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 10:51 am
It was a very well-constructed poem. It was very thought provoking.
...? said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 10:50 am
GOOOD POEM THE WORDING WAS FASCINATING AND HAD A UNIQUE FEELING TO IT
Johnathan BRONZE said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 9:42 am
Johnathan BRONZE, Johnson City, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;That&#039;s Amore.&quot;

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I liked how you fowed with the words
rubyrainstorm SILVER said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 2:02 pm
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
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This poem really had feeling in it. I loved the flow of the words! Keep up the unique work!
Shogun11 SILVER said...
on Mar. 12 2011 at 6:24 pm
Shogun11 SILVER, Yelm, Washington
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This was a really good poem! I could totally see everything happening. It would be cool if some people would look at my poems too! I'm in need of some criticism as well! haha

 

ieneversshoutnever said...
on Mar. 11 2011 at 11:02 am
wow that was so good!
Bren_Bren BRONZE said...
on Mar. 10 2011 at 8:10 pm
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I agree because you kept the excitement going and you someone use their imagination too. Great!!
l.iney DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 10 2011 at 7:01 pm
l.iney DIAMOND, Shrewsbury, Massachusetts
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i love this its amazing and i can see the feeling in it! Please check out come of my stuff its not as good but I try haha

Awesome Job!

I.believe BRONZE said...
on Mar. 10 2011 at 5:39 pm
I.believe BRONZE, Unalakleet, Alaska
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Oh my gosh!! I love this poem! I like how you keep it going with those ideas like going swimming and how your father lets you and then how you want to go flying and your father lets you, but kind of saves you in the end.
I.believe BRONZE said...
on Mar. 10 2011 at 5:37 pm
I.believe BRONZE, Unalakleet, Alaska
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I wish I had a dad too, or one like this, you are very lucky to have one like this.  My dad isn't supportive of me, but I'm glad that yours does :)
LyricalDisaster BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 12:22 pm
LyricalDisaster BRONZE, Greenbelt, Maryland
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i freakingggg LOVE this ! :D

p.s: check out my poemss ^_^ thanks

AJ Bigj said...
on Mar. 8 2011 at 11:26 am
Hey this was a nice pieace that you have written here when I saw the title I was confused but know that I have read it my whole perspective has changed. http://bigj.edublogs.org/ check out mine and leave a comment.
I'm_Still_Here said...
on Mar. 8 2011 at 6:59 am

I really liked the ambience of this poem, the Ending was def. my favourite part. Please keep writing...

 

Bangz said...
on Mar. 8 2011 at 6:47 am
Dis nice I jus liked dat 1st part doe mane its real nice doe
evergreen232 said...
on Mar. 7 2011 at 5:53 pm
evergreen232, Portland, Oregon
0 articles 3 photos 21 comments
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Ummm ohkay isnt that like weird that u 2 have the same name kinda?? wuteves :P i agree
josephinelouise BRONZE said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 10:11 pm
josephinelouise BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
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a genuine poem full of character

the only comment I have is that stanza three seems very forced with lines two and four. well, mainly the birdie thing. 

CWells_521 DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 7:10 pm
CWells_521 DIAMOND, Greene, New York
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i really like how deep this is. you're a rlly great writer :)
Gnosis said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 12:46 am
Beautiful poem. I like your use of rhythm and imagery. The poem started out vague and then progressed into a sound and solid expression. You were able to capture a profound essence on a porfound topic, and do it well.
Kenziechaos. BRONZE said...
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i really like this. i like how it has different meanings, and how somene could think of it as something different than someone else.. if that makes sense? well written. (: