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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2185 comments.
abstractminded GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:27 am
oh there not bad at all though....maybe i came on a little to harsh so i apologize but are you a boy or girl
thecatscuriosity BRONZE said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 9:16 pm
These are the poems the world needs to see, we are the next generation and we need to be heard. keep it up, that goes for everyone. this is a great poem.
abeatlesfan65 GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 8:32 pm
so high to fly
assault the skies-
they reach out,
as your arms grasp mindlessly
flailing about
the wondrous serpantine swirls
of a new, worldly route
these-
the musings of a wandering mind eternal, but paternal fate
one cannot appease,
to return another day
amidst far calmer seas
That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this one... it's amazing! Could you check out a few of my own? (Carl, or anyone else that sees this) Thanks!
assault the skies-
they reach out,
as your arms grasp mindlessly
flailing about
the wondrous serpantine swirls
of a new, worldly route
these-
the musings of a wandering mind eternal, but paternal fate
one cannot appease,
to return another day
amidst far calmer seas
That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this one... it's amazing! Could you check out a few of my own? (Carl, or anyone else that sees this) Thanks!
abeatlesfan65 GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 8:16 pm
First, that depends on your point of view. Second, I read a few of your poems, and they're very good, but you're coming off as just a little arrogant.
abstractminded GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 12:20 pm
to be honest i didnt quite like it ..i dont see how this is #1 mines are way better
*MAV* said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 9:32 am
WOW i love it! check one of mine out:)
http ://teenink .com /poetry/all/article/86463/The-Author/
http ://teenink .com /poetry/all/article/86463/The-Author/
striker5 said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 8:49 am
i can totally relate to that!! awesome poem, i love it! keep writing!!!!
nahb123 said...
on Feb. 8 2010 at 9:39 am
lol at the 'birdie' part :] but good.
If I could describe the relationship with my mother and father... It would be almost exactly like this poem you wrote. It's cool that you could vent out your emotions on a piece off paper (or laptop) and share a piece of yourself to the world. Quana! (Thank you in Yu'pik)
DreamingWriter BRONZE said...
on Feb. 3 2010 at 8:43 pm
love it... i can totally relate. This poem is amazing
SaraRoxsHerSox SILVER said...
on Feb. 2 2010 at 8:42 am
wow! beautiful poem! keep on writing!
FoundYouAtMyFuneral said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 5:28 pm
I agree. I liked the poem, but the "birdie" sentence could easily be changed. Great poem. I completely understand its meaning, and it's not the sort of poem that is too direct, and the meaning isn't completely hidden either.
cheergal said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 1:09 pm
I like how your words all flow togeather
kasfhksajd said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 11:52 am
it was intwresttubg
scbylvr said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 9:36 am
i like this poem its kinda sad and boring
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