I loooooooooved it! You're a natural writer! I think you have a brilliant plot to work with and the characters are very believable. It's a wonderful story.

I can't wait to read more!

~Ebony~

I'm changing the first chapter for sure. Instead of the jolting awake thing, I think I might do Summer working with the villagers in preparation for the trader's feast. Thanks for the feedback!

And. To everyone else: I won't be posting up chapters until I get well into the story (maybe chapter four or five) or until I can submit chapters without taking the whole novel offline. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read!

lovelycheese, I read your novel! First let me say that I am very impressed! Great vocabulary and astounding story-line!

Now, there are some things that you need to fix. In several sentences in Chapter 2 you either have too many words (to the point where the sentence doesn't make sense or is a run-on sentence) or not enough words (where the reader might have to mentally fill in needed words for themselves). That would be your main issue as of right now. 

Aside from that, I love Summer and Mira! Wow! I love how they look out for each other! Your story is amazing! 

How did you ever come up with such an amazing story-line?

I will notify you as soon as I can, as I'm on an extremely tight schedule. Probably tomorrow I'll get to reviewing your work.

Thanks so much! Your comment means a lot to me(:

I really, really, enjoyed this. I love fantasy stories, but only if they're really good; this one definitely is! I wasn't sure about the third chapter at first, but I was relieved to see that it all came back around to Summer and Mira in the end and wasn't just a history lesson. Just one thing I pointed out: "Thirty gold pieces was more Summer’s savings tripled." There should be a 'than' between more and Summer. 

Maybe you could check out my novel? It's called The Formation in the realistic fiction section. I would really appreciate some advice. Thanks!

=) I'm glad my critique was helpful.  I was afraid it was too short with my limited time.

No problem with the readability--I'm a Grammar Na.zi. XD

And I'm glad you're someone who realizes the publisher no-nos. =D That'll make everything much easier.

Ahhh~ yeah, that's another one. Publisher no-no's. Changing the first chapter is one of my top re-do's for Celestial. 

Haha, I have a problem of not picking out errors that might affect readability, so thanks for point those out. 

I'm very, very behind. I barely scratched out chapter three after about three months (I know) on the novel, so yes, I'll combine the chapters.

Your critique was superb. Most helpful of all. Thank you so much for the time critiquing! I really appreciate it!(:

Thanks for the helpful critique! 

I have been googling publisher advice, and the prologue thing did come up a couple of times. I'm still debating whether to include the prologue or to cut it. 

Once again thanks!(: