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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2185 comments.
manateegirl14 said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:49 am
I loved the poem although you did not have very good grammar. I understood everything! You did an amazing job with the poem!
6aaronl said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:37 am
I think this poem is a little weird to me even though i understand it. I wonder where the poem takes place.
Annab said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:28 am
Wow! Amazing job! I understand everything that your saying!
miniminim123 said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:27 am
the poem is really good, just a sad story...wait idk the story...but i think its sad???
alabastersays said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:27 am
I loved your poem. it was very meaningful
soccerchik8 said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 11:26 am
This is a very strong poem i love it!!! well done young grasshopper :P
joshbd7 said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 8:02 am
really good poem... looks like you put good thought you put good thought into this. ; keep it up !
AlexisBieber13 said...
on Jan. 18 2011 at 9:39 pm
Thats really Sad Im sorry if this id true
LoveAndWar GOLD said...
on Jan. 16 2011 at 1:48 am
I love the last line. It's beautiful in it's entirety, too, because it works so well together, soft and yet such a wonderful, thoughtful air... thick too...
AelitaReloaded PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 6:07 pm
Awesome poem, hey will everyone please check out my new poem, it's the first poem that I've posted so far!
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 3:19 pm
This poem is both original and creative! I have not read any other poems on this site about people being held back by their parents. Please let me know if you have, as I loved this one and want more like it. It told a story, as poems should do. The vocabulary isn't fancy, but there are words that aren't used in everyday conversation. This poem got it's point across, and in a meaningful and thoughtful way... That's all that should really matter.
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 3:16 pm
I believe it's about a boy who feels like he has no freedom and that the person who should love him the most is holding him back from what he wants most to do.
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 3:11 pm
I disagree with you... It kept the rhyme scheme going and made sense. If you were out in the wilderness, I would expect there to be at least a few "birdies." I personally really enjoyed all of this poem because I could tell it came from the heart. :)
alexandrexis BRONZE said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 8:47 pm
Yeah, the birdie line kind of ruins it but it's still very good as a whole and the flow and rhythm is nice.
MikalaReighann0215 SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 8:14 pm
I agree with everyone else. it flows nicely. the only thing i didnt like was the birdie line, to me it took the maturity of the poem down if that makes any sense
LoveeLikeWinter BRONZE said...
on Jan. 10 2011 at 7:07 pm
I really love how it flows so nicely, and it also stays on topic well and tells a good story. (: Good job.
Live.Life.Fast PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 9 2011 at 10:53 pm
So i really like your poem! sorry I'm kinda new at this whole thing.. this is my first comment. I apologize if i'm just going on about stuff you already know. But i really like the flow of it. If that makes sense? Also, the idea is pretty great =)
3blueflamingos said...
on Jan. 9 2011 at 6:07 pm
Buurn. lol But seriously, have you tried writing more limericks? I think you'd do well with them. i felt like you seriously cared about defending this poetry, and at the same time it made me laugh at this guy who is just going around trashing ther work when he probably has NOTHING against this poet you are defending. Thanks for sticking up for people. :)
