Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2185 comments.


on Jan. 9 2011 at 6:02 pm
3blueflamingos, Lakewood, California
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Wonderful concept. I think you should focus on editing though... For me the inconsistensy of capitals makes this lovely poem less enjoyable to read, or is that a device you are using? I love it alot!!!

DrDoofenTess said...
on Jan. 9 2011 at 3:12 am
DrDoofenTess, Dubai, Other
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hope for the best .... Expect the worst .

loved how u dramatically brought in the concept of how children are sometimes bound to their parents . especially if they are over protective .... u no i have alot of people who care about me n dont want me to do the wrong thing but then sometimes i feel like ive been in this bubble for soo long , that i feel like screaming out loud n tellin them please let me fall and learn ... let me make mistakes ....

and that aside i was jus reading the comments u got n i felt seriously insulted wen ppl sed u shud "go ina hole n die n stop writing " .... lol gess u do get specimens of the sort once in a while ehh :P


on Jan. 9 2011 at 12:02 am
SADE_JANE SILVER, Cope, South Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This was really nice . i enjoyed reading . check some of my work out .

on Jan. 8 2011 at 8:27 pm
smartchick118 SILVER, Voorhees, New Jersey
5 articles 2 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coroner will find ink in my veins and blood on my typewriter keys"

I totally agree with what you said ^^^... i think thts this is an amazing poem :))

on Jan. 7 2011 at 9:13 am
CallofDoodie BRONZE, Andover, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
really deep bro, i like it

Davii BRONZE said...
on Jan. 6 2011 at 6:39 pm
Davii BRONZE, Toronto, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
like is the wishy-washy content of love.

This is such a deep poem. Well put and it's so touching. I love it :)

Jones said...
on Jan. 6 2011 at 10:04 am
Jones, Spotsylvania, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hey

I love this! So many words...so beautifully put....For this sort of poem I might say it was cramped by the extensive vocabulary, but I can tell that was the point of the poem. The words really make it come alive. Wow...just stunning.

on Jan. 2 2011 at 3:16 pm
blackflame SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Losers always talk about doing their best..............Winners always walk away defeating the rest.

that is real good............keep going

maglove97 GOLD said...
on Dec. 30 2010 at 2:16 pm
maglove97 GOLD, New Hampton, New Jersey
16 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.<br /> Abraham Lincoln

poems usually take longer.  Some of my short story articles took a day, one took a week.  Poems usually take a week or longer. 

Saika PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 29 2010 at 5:56 pm
Saika PLATINUM, Durango, Colorado
21 articles 48 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love and Tolerate every person, pony, and brony &lt;3

Wow.. strong! its amazing, a million times better than i can wrote! :P

on Dec. 28 2010 at 12:04 am
Arshia1595 BRONZE, New Delhi, Other
1 article 1 photo 4 comments
Ohh..Guess im gonna have to wait a while. Thanks a ton, though

on Dec. 27 2010 at 1:00 pm
TH3innovator BRONZE, Farmington, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes it takes someone else saying you are wrong to realize you are wrong<br /> Sometimes it takes someone else saying you are wrong to realize you are right

It took me around 2-3 months for a reply

on Dec. 27 2010 at 1:51 am
Arshia1595 BRONZE, New Delhi, Other
1 article 1 photo 4 comments
Wow..this is really good..hope you keep on writing.. Btw can someone help me..how much time does it usually take to get the editors approval for the online post of your work?

on Dec. 26 2010 at 11:02 pm
your poem is very inspirational and caring...and it deepens my soul to think about how father hood is so important to this world.i love that every verse rymed and you used no conciets<3luv ya

Gigantron GOLD said...
on Dec. 24 2010 at 3:13 pm
Gigantron GOLD, Somewhere, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;There is a fundamental difference between religion, which is based on authority (imposed dogma, faith), [as opposed to] science, which is based on observation and reason. Science will win because it works.&quot;<br /> <br /> -Stephen Hawking

This was a good poem. Nice job!

KAT.CH GOLD said...
on Dec. 24 2010 at 10:47 am
KAT.CH GOLD, Chennai, Other
12 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you can respect others you should respect yourself too

it is a  beautiful piece of writingI

Elle66 said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 11:25 am
Elle66, Charlotte, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This was so lovely. i was pulled in as soon as i saw the title. Keep on writing cause your great! :)

bambibelle said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 12:28 am
bambibelle, Cullman, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this is truly touching, thank you

Anela5 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 20 2010 at 8:35 pm
Anela5 BRONZE,
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Rely on the rabbit&#039;s foot if you will, but keep in mind, it did&#039;nt work for the rabbit.

Beautiful, read the title and was immediately drawn in :)

beangurl:) said...
on Dec. 20 2010 at 5:48 pm
wow that was beautiful i loved it