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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2185 comments.

dancingintheflames GOLD said...
on Dec. 8 2010 at 7:47 pm
dancingintheflames GOLD, Kirksville, Missouri
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She stood in the storm and when the wind didn&#039;t blow her away, she adjusted her sails&lt;3

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I LOVE this poem, it just flows beautifully!!!!! Please check our my work.....
bjb103 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 6 2010 at 9:23 am
bjb103 BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
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I can relate myself to this poem. I asked my father the same questions. It is amazing to know that i am not the only one. I love this poem! It was great. It had great rhythm. I would suggest to make it longer, because I was wanting more, but awesome job.
JSchwartz GOLD said...
on Dec. 3 2010 at 9:11 pm
JSchwartz GOLD, Gainesville, Florida
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very interesting, love the poem. Kinda weird for a boy to write poetry, but i'm a boy who likes poetry also so keep it up.
Truelyy44 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 8:10 pm
Truelyy44 BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
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That was lik past amazing !!
Monkee63 SILVER said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 5:54 pm
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Wow. I really really liked that I love the way that the words just simply flow together.
Jacob44 said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 4:58 pm
hmmm... interesting. I like the wording, very articulate.
extremelymodest5 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 4:32 pm
extremelymodest5 BRONZE, Califon, New Jersey
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awesome poem! very original!
Duckie430 said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 12:39 pm
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i agree! i thought i was the only one...there's alot of amazing poetry on this site, but this poem just doesn't hold as much emotion & talent as others, yet it is the most recognized. not that this poem is bad...but i just don't see what is very original or creative about it.
AlexisRivera015 said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 6:51 pm
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wow amazing

this is just wow

lol i love it

check out my writing

cuz u seem like u have experice here

:)

tylerz GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 11:11 am
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Beautiful I loved every bit of it
AliMallie BRONZE said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 11:04 pm
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I was enthralled by the utter unique aspect of this poem. Thank you for sharing this!
cmCampbell SILVER said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 8:21 pm
cmCampbell SILVER, Cedar Grove, New Jersey
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So I absolutely loved this! Usually I get distracted in the middle of reading and don't read until the very end, but I read this to the very end without even giving it a second though! phenominal! really!
Xeneron00 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 7:23 pm
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The last four lines gave me chills throughout my entire body.
Mayzie2010 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 5:05 pm
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WriterFighter,

Stories don't always necessarily need to explain everything in words. Sometimes the author wants us to read between the lines to get the true message of the literature. The author did not write this poem to show us that kids' lives are constantly ruined by parents. But to give us a hint that we ned to read between the lines to actually understand this poem.

~Mayzie2010

rachelchace DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 6:34 pm
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very unique, i love the imagery and descriptions!
WriterFighter PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 4:24 pm
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Dear Mayzie2010, I understand how you think the parent is loving, but where do we see the love? If the writter wanted to show how it wasn't controlling, more then loving, then were do we see it? We don't that's the truth. If the author wanted to show that it was love that pushed him to say no to his child, it wasn't expressed to us.
zippy123 said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 3:34 pm
i dont gett it....help?
i♥poetry!! said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 2:52 pm
i like it its really Good:D keep it up(:
RedpillBluepill said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 12:45 am
I don't see why this has the highest score or why it got published. I mean, I like the idea but it wasn't executed very well. The vocab is lacking and the lines are so uneven. Could've been better.
Mayzie2010 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 28 2010 at 2:44 pm
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WriterFighter

You're right...to a degree. The father in this poem is not really controlling. He's displaying how much he loves his son by telling him he can't do something because he doesn't want to see his son get hurt. Think about that.